Chapter 44
Lu Xiao disagreed. “The hormone levels in your body haven’t completely subsided yet. Based on how you’re feeling now, if you go for a blood draw today, you’ll only get a result showing a significant drop. After a while, once everything has fully disappeared, you’ll still need to draw blood again to confirm.”
He took his wife’s hand. Faint blue veins showed beneath the fair skin on the back of it. His palm was thin—if two tubes of blood were drawn from here, it would hurt him more than if he were the one hemorrhaging.
How many bowls of little wontons would it take to make that up?
“Let’s wait ten days and then go draw blood once,” Lu Xiao said.
Meng Xueyuan said, “Then you’re not allowed to drink that medicine.”
Lu Xiao could only admit that this cup was a traditional Chinese medicine capable of causing impotence. He handed the medicine that had reached his lips back to the auntie. “Take it back.”
The auntie was shocked—but she kept her mouth shut. “All right, sir.”
Without any bitter but effective medicine, Lu Xiao could only resort to psychological warfare to soothe himself—how could all 177 Mahjong buddies possibly be romantic rivals? Even a sea king couldn’t manage such a huge fish pond.
It had to be that 001 and 002 led Meng Xueyuan astray into the Nan Cheng Mahjong mega group. Those people saw that his wife had money and proactively added him on WeChat.
Meng Xueyuan was pure and kind, unwilling to reject anyone, so his Moments were filled with so many nameless, faceless people.
Once his wife got into a relationship with him, he stopped obsessing over Mahjong and deleted all those records.
In his life, romance took top priority.
After Lu Xiao finished regulating himself, he drove his wife to the seaside, boarded a cruise ship, and after the sun sank below the horizon, set sail into the open sea.
Meng Xueyuan sat on the deck, letting the breeze blow over him. The sea wind eased the day’s heat, like that icy-cold watermelon he’d eaten in the afternoon.
In the small galley inside the cabin, Lu Xiao pan-fried a steak, cut it into the shape of a heart, and decorated it with a red carrot carved into a rose.
From his observations, Meng Xueyuan seemed to prefer large flowers with obvious pollen and clearly defined stamens and pistils. So Lu Xiao took out a bit of gold powder and sprinkled it over the carrot flower, then squeezed a glass of lime juice. Dinner was ready. Eating too much at sea might make Meng Xueyuan nauseous from the rocking.
Venus shimmered brightly in the east. The lights of the high-rises along the shore grew distant. The cruise ship’s engines stopped, and it drifted with the wind and waves.
Lu Xiao set up a white, romantic dining table, and together with Meng Xueyuan, beneath a sky full of stars, they enjoyed a candlelit dinner.
After finishing the steak, Meng Xueyuan lifted the lime juice and took a sip. The icy, sweet-and-sour, fizzy juice made his brow knit involuntarily. He swallowed half a mouthful, carefully savoring the taste lingering in his throat.
Lu Xiao’s eyes gradually grew deeper than the night sea. In this stretch of ocean, there were only the two of them.
Big stars were for everyone to see. Ever since he’d come back, he’d wanted to hide Meng Xueyuan somewhere only he could see.
Just like out here at sea—Meng Xueyuan’s phone signal was poor, unreachable by anyone. If he lied and said the cruise ship’s engine was broken, his wife would have no choice but to obediently stay here. When the massive stores of food in the hold were finally exhausted, he would magnanimously let Meng Xueyuan go ashore.
When Meng Xueyuan fled ashore like someone escaping a wolf’s den, he’d follow slowly behind and threaten him: if he played Mahjong again, he’d lock him up some more.
His wife would tremble in fear and swear to delete everyone from 001 to 0177.
“What are you thinking about?” Meng Xueyuan leaned close to Lu Xiao’s face.
Lu Xiao pinched his shoulder. “Move a bit inward. The closer you are to the railing, the more it rocks.”
“I’m fine,” Meng Xueyuan said. Occasionally, the queen bee’s constitution was magical. The morning sickness had come fiercely, but the moment Lu Xiao returned, it immediately retreated.
Meng Xueyuan put on a small serious face and thought for a while. He understood now—queen bees liked pollen. Pseudopregnancy blocked the spermatheca from collecting pollen. When Lu Xiao wasn’t around, it muddled through, but when Lu Xiao was present, the spermatheca had ideas of its own and would urge the other foolish, deceived glands to hurry up and get back to work properly.
“What were you just thinking about?” Meng Xueyuan sensed that whatever Lu Xiao had been thinking was interesting.
Lu Xiao gazed into the distance. “I was thinking about how to become the Nan Cheng Mahjong King.”
Meng Xueyuan blinked. “You’re already an award-winning actor and the King of Speed—are you that career-driven about Mahjong too? Are you going to sign up for a Mahjong tournament?”
Lu Xiao said, “Of course. Mainly because it’s something you like. Anything you like, I want to be number one at. Wife, could you play Mahjong only with me from now on?”
Meng Xueyuan looked a bit troubled.
Lu Xiao’s heart cooled slightly. “If not, then—”
Meng Xueyuan said honestly, “But when you’re at home, I don’t want to play Mahjong with you. We’d still need two more people to make a table. When you’re on business trips, I get bored and then feel like playing.”
Lu Xiao’s emotions rode a roller coaster, shooting straight up to a sweet peak. He vowed solemnly, “I’ll never go on business trips again.”
Whoever wants to go can go.
Meng Xueyuan sat calmly beside Lu Xiao, took his broad hand, and placed it over his own lower abdomen.
Because he was full, his belly was slightly rounded.
Curiously, Meng Xueyuan asked, “When I’m pseudo-pregnant, do you feel like a virtual dad? Or do you just think of it as me being sick?”
Lu Xiao said, “You’re not sick. I feel extremely real about being a dad.”
His hand moved slightly, gently stroking his wife’s belly through the clothes. Selfishly, he said, “My sense of being a dad is very strong, but don’t take it too seriously. You just need to be my wife.”
Meng Xueyuan’s lashes curved. For the past two months, he’d been thinking—if this pseudo-pregnancy happened only once in his lifetime and never again, wouldn’t it be a bit too much for him to hide it from Lu Xiao?
“That’s good,” Meng Xueyuan said. He grabbed hold of the tail end of the pseudo-pregnancy and discussed the feeling of being a dad with Lu Xiao. “No wonder you’ve become much more steady.”
Lu Xiao lowered his gaze. He didn’t want to either… but if he wasn’t steady, he’d go crazy.
Meng Xueyuan turned his head and kissed the corner of Lu Xiao’s lips. “Don’t take the medicine. We’re a legally married couple—the law allows me to help you.”
Lu Xiao’s fine moral character slid rapidly downhill on the open sea, but he still pretended to be shy, holding onto his belt. “Isn’t that bad? You’ll feel uncomfortable and nauseous.”
Meng Xueyuan lowered his eyes and said nothing, not extending a second invitation.
Lu Xiao found a way out for himself. “I’ll be careful. Should we go into the cabin?”
Even if they did something unspeakable under the open sky, only the stars would see.
Meng Xueyuan said, “We don’t have to take anything off.”
……
Who on earth has such a good wife? Oh—it’s me.
Lu Xiao grinned. At dawn the next morning, before the sky had fully brightened, he carried Meng Xueyuan ashore.
How could he bear to trap his pseudo-pregnant wife in the middle of the sea? Of course, being on land was more reassuring.
Lu Xiao carried Meng Xueyuan home and placed him on his own bed, then turned and went next door to Meng Xueyuan’s apartment.
The moment he entered, his expression turned unpleasant. A psychological effect made him feel that there was the scent of another male in his territory.
He immediately flung open all the doors and windows, flushed the toilet three times, and scanned every corner with X-ray–like eyes, collecting any hair he saw on the floor.
Even though Meng Xueyuan kept things very clean, a house that had hosted guests still left traces.
For example: the shower gel was used up faster; there was an extra set of bowls and chopsticks in the kitchen cabinet; the guest room bedding had been changed; if you took fingerprints from the refrigerator door, there would definitely be more than two…
Lu Xiao suddenly realized something—he hadn’t even slept in his wife’s apartment, yet someone else had gotten there first.
If he’d known, he should have slept as much as possible before going on that business trip.
He hadn’t slept in his wife’s bed, hadn’t peed in his wife’s toilet, and as for his wife’s kitchen… he seemed to have boiled an egg there once.
Lu Xiao felt intensely sour. Strictly speaking, he was the landlord of this place.
Hah. Sell it.
A sale doesn’t break a lease.
How could he persuade Meng Xueyuan to give up this nest and move everything into his place?
While Meng Xueyuan was still asleep, Lu Xiao secretly drank a cup of traditional medicine.
Once again, he finished “regulating” himself.
This apartment was just a temporary rental for Meng Xueyuan. Another day, he’d go look at a large flat and a villa, register the property under both their names. No one else would be allowed in—no aunties, no maids.
Lu Xiao made breakfast for Meng Xueyuan, woke him up, and habitually kissed his forehead. “Baby, time for breakfast.”
Meng Xueyuan was extremely sensitive to the smell of Chinese medicine. He opened his eyes at once. “You drank the medicine?”
Lu Xiao: “……”
Meng Xueyuan woke up with a bit of anger, sat up against the headboard, looking both dazed and mad. “I’m going to the hospital.”
This time, no matter what Lu Xiao said, he was determined to go.
Lu Xiao had no choice but to arrange for his family’s own hospital—his father had given birth to the three brothers there.
Seeing that Meng Xueyuan was still sulking, Lu Xiao pitifully introduced it. “This is where I was born. When I was born, I only weighed a little over four jin.”
Sure enough, Meng Xueyuan was intrigued. Looking at Lu Xiao, nearly one meter ninety tall, he said, “Dad is really good at raising kids.”
The one who examined Meng Xueyuan was an old expert close to retirement. Seeing Lu Xiao’s nervous expression, he was momentarily dazed, thinking he’d seen Lu Fengge from years past.
The expert looked at Meng Xueyuan’s file with hopeful eyes—surely he’d inherited his father’s ability and could deliver another case of male-male childbirth.
Oh. Pseudopregnancy.
So much fuss over a pseudopregnancy.
“The progesterone levels are rapidly declining. As long as you don’t—”
“I absolutely won’t touch him,” Lu Xiao said. Whether out of the simple desire for Meng Xueyuan to recover quickly, or the darker desire to get rid of the metaphorical green hat as soon as possible, he would strictly abstain.
The expert said, “Then it should be fine in about three days. Draw blood again after three days—hey, what kind of look is that? Next time we’ll only draw a tiny bit, mosquito-bite–sized. We won’t measure the concentration, just whether it’s present or not.”
Lu Xiao asked, “Will he have to suffer like this again in the future?”
The expert smiled. “Don’t worry. Even if there’s another pseudopregnancy, it won’t be this severe. You might not even notice before it ends. Our brains are very smart—once fooled into doing pointless work, that’s enough. The second time, there’s immunity.”
Lu Xiao finally relaxed. He’d even thought about using protection forever.
As long as his wife didn’t suffer, that was best.
The expert glanced at Meng Xueyuan’s initial report. Such intense pseudopregnancy reactions meant the body was making many preparations for pregnancy—there were conditions for conceiving.
But things like this were impossible to say for sure; the probability was just too, too low.
Meng Xueyuan hesitated, then said, “Lu Xiao, should you get checked too?”
The expert was very knowledgeable about reproduction. What medicine was Lu Xiao drinking anyway—was it bought online? Did it have side effects? “Hurry and show the prescription to the doctor—”
Lu Xiao covered his wife’s mouth. “Save me some face. Let’s go.”
Expert: “?” A man’s face…?
Meng Xueyuan clarified, “It’s not what you’re thinking, doctor. Thank you—we’ll be leaving now.”
Lu Xiao pulled Meng Xueyuan out the door, feeling bright and refreshed.
Countdown: three days.
This limited-time “instant dad” event—he wouldn’t be participating again next time!
