Chapter 32
Meng Xueyuan insisted on praising him, saying his eggs had five hundred times more protein than chicken eggs—what could Lu Xiao do about that?
Who could withstand such praise? Of course he let him have his way.
Lu Xiao resisted the overwhelming temptation and maintained the last shred of restraint. “Only if you’re my wife can you offset things like this.”
Meng Xueyuan leaned closer to him.
“Be…” The word be was drowned out by scattered, broken sounds.
…
Meng Xueyuan liked Lu Xiao; he didn’t want to be a scheming green-tea villain. Since he and Lu Xiao had already been good friends for eighteen years, why couldn’t they be lovers too?
No wonder Lu Xiao had invited him to get married the first time they met, even when he was dirt poor—so careless. It turned out to be because of feelings from childhood. The younger the friendship, the purer it was. Lu Xiao must be a good man with no bad intentions to keep believing in the childhood version of him all these years.
Meng Xueyuan also decided to trust Lu Xiao. With eighteen years of feelings between them, even if they broke up, they could probably still be friends.
Meng Xueyuan’s lips were red; his Adam’s apple bobbed as he wiped his mouth against Lu Xiao’s lower abdomen.
Lu Xiao had been in a state of disordered breathing—hyperventilating, breath held—so much so that he didn’t stop him in time.
He looked down at Meng Xueyuan from above and saw the ruby-red moles on either side of his nose bridge.
Lu Xiao relied on that one-of-a-kind feature to “cheat” at recognizing him. In truth, forcing Meng Xueyuan to eat boiled eggs wasn’t all that righteous—probably because he was too timid with his mouth, had been holding it in for too long, and ended up getting perverse over the tiniest details.
“Nine hundred and forty-nine. I ate them all,” Meng Xueyuan said.
How could his wife be this cute?
Lu Xiao suddenly hugged Meng Xueyuan tightly, lifted him off the bed, supporting his backside, Meng Xueyuan’s legs wrapping around his waist. He didn’t want to do anything—he just wanted to hold him like this. Other than in his arms, he didn’t want to put Meng Xueyuan anywhere.
“Mm. From now on, it’s all my fault. I owe you fifty-one apologies. You can make me do anything.”
Meng Xueyuan said, “Then pour me a glass of water.”
Pollen was more palatable when it went where it belonged.
Lu Xiao quickly set Meng Xueyuan down by the table, freed one hand to squeeze in a bit of honey, stirred it, and handed it to him.
“Wife.” Lu Xiao formally said the word, his voice slightly hoarse, as if he were the one who’d overused his mouth. “From now on, all the money I earn goes to you. Just give me a five-hundred-yuan intimacy allowance.”
Meng Xueyuan hurriedly gulped down the honey water. “No, I can’t take your money.”
Lu Xiao immediately grew unhappy. “We’ve long been marital community property. There’s no yours or mine.” He had an uncle who was completely henpecked; ever since Lu Xiao could remember, that uncle had delighted in devising ways to stash private money—getting found out, confiscated, hiding it again—over and over.
Being controlled that tightly by his wife made Lu Xiao jealous to the point of madness.
Meng Xueyuan said seriously, “Our financial strength doesn’t match. It’s better to keep things clear.”
In truth, his assets had to be shared with his family; he couldn’t use Lu Xiao’s money for that.
“I have money too—more than I can spend. If you give me yours, I wouldn’t know how to invest it anyway. It makes more sense for me to put my money with you.”
Lu Xiao wasn’t convinced, but since his wife had only just accepted him today, getting him to accept his money would take patience. You couldn’t get fat in one bite.
There were still two days of variety show filming left. Lu Xiao kept his promise and didn’t want anything to happen during the show. If any post-incident reactions slipped and netizens started pointing fingers, Meng Xueyuan, being thin-skinned, would be terribly embarrassed.
“Go take a shower. Let’s watch the show together.”
After Meng Xueyuan finished showering, he crawled into the bed where Lu Xiao already was. Lu Xiao wrapped an arm around his shoulders; a laptop was set up in front of them, playing the variety show replay.
It was a live show, not yet edited into full episodes, but there were officially produced highlight clips.
Today’s highlight was already out—the ramp race between Lu Xiao and Wang Changyi.
Meng Xueyuan reached out and tapped the laptop touchscreen to start playing.
“Turn on the comments,” Lu Xiao said, holding his wife. He didn’t really want to relive his daytime performance—he wanted to see the CP fans’ enthusiastic blessings. On the first night after the leads confirmed their relationship, he wouldn’t tell anyone, but he secretly wanted the blessings.
“Okay.” Meng Xueyuan clicked the comments [on].
The comments instantly flooded the screen—
[Business hours. Just shipping, don’t take it seriously.]
[All I can say is Brother Lu’s acting is good, professional. Meng Xueyuan cooperated too.]
[The last crazy bit of promotion before leaving the industry—company arrangement to let Meng Xueyuan catch Brother Lu’s final wave of popularity.]
What the hell?!
Lu Xiao reached out and turned off the comments. Bad feng shui at this timestamp—switch it. He dragged the progress bar ten minutes forward.
Then he turned the comments back on.
A sea of comments covered the screen.
[Drilling the ramp and swimming in one go—on Qixi even the Cowherd isn’t faster than Brother Lu.]
[Olympic triathlon: swimming, cycling, running—Brother Lu nailed them all on a variety show.]
[To save my wife, I’ve decided to become a triathlon champion.]
[I’m dead from shipping! Kill me to hype this pair of gay bastards!]
[I, a believer, am willing to trade ten jin of fat for the little couple 9999.]
Now this was more like it. Lu Xiao lounged against the headboard, squinting as he watched Meng Xueyuan’s reaction. Ultra-sweet comments—worth having.
Meng Xueyuan watched for a while. When it cut to Wang Changyi’s side, he only wanted to see Lu Xiao, so he tapped fast-forward a few times.
The screen lagged for a second; after the comments cleared, they refreshed—
[Night-watchers, don’t be led astray. As long as my bro hasn’t said it himself, even if you bring in FBI behavioral analysts, we won’t acknowledge it!]
[This is the cleverness of promotion—do without saying, keep it ambiguous. Interpret however you want; he’s just taking care of a colleague.]
[Snowflakes, stay sober! Only people like Wang Changyi who dare to say it out loud are real. Replace Lu Xiao with a dog and Yuan-yuan’s attitude would be the same.]
The vein on Lu Xiao’s forehead throbbed. Was there some mysterious force steering comment sentiment? Why were the comments he clicked all CP fans going wild, while the ones Meng Xueyuan touched turned into solo stans washing sugar? He couldn’t imagine what comments his wife faced watching alone—weren’t they dragging him down?
Were these even his fans? They were hyping Wang Changyi too?
“Not watching anymore.” Lu Xiao shut the laptop and pulled his wife into the covers. “Sleep. Once we go public, they won’t have anything to say. You don’t mind going public, right?”
“It’s fine to go public.” Trapped in his arms, a thin silk quilt over them, a square mosquito net enclosing the bed, it felt like an ordinary married couple coming home from work, hugging each other to sleep in a rented place—no air conditioning, still clinging together.
Following his imagination, the hand between them moved; his fingertip pressed against Lu Xiao’s chest muscle. It was still early—this was when you should whisper secrets.
Meng Xueyuan said, “If we didn’t have degrees, if we were just wage workers who could only afford a rental, what jobs would we have?”
Lu Xiao asked instinctively, “How could you not have degrees?” His wife was so smart—he could get into university with ease.
Meng Xueyuan choked a little. “Maybe because I had an early romance with you.”
Lu Xiao’s eyes darkened. “Early romance? So it’s a childhood-sweethearts plot?” Blissful! If he’d had such a great wife at sixteen, who would still want to study? Kicked out of the house for early romance, forced to fend for himself, living in a basement with a beautiful little boyfriend.
Interesting topic!
“Yes,” Meng Xueyuan said.
Without thinking, Lu Xiao replied, “I’d move bricks on a construction site; you’d man the counter at a corner shop.”
No celebrity halo—nine to five, sleeping together.
Meng Xueyuan said softly, “You’re so capable. The foreman would definitely appreciate you.”
Lu Xiao rubbed his wife’s freshly washed hair—fluffy and soft. Three buns for half a bottle of Jiang Weina shampoo was totally worth it. He lifted Meng Xueyuan’s chin, bit his lips lightly, and mumbled, “Then if I work so hard moving bricks, would you bring home the corner shop’s near-expiry sausages to give me extra food?”
Meng Xueyuan nodded. “I would.” He thought about it again—it felt a bit like feeding a dog.
“I’d bring fresh sausages home too.”
Lu Xiao said, “No money for internet, too stingy to pay the electricity bill—at night we can only do my wife in the dark. Is that okay?”
Heat rushed to Meng Xueyuan’s face; he shrank inward a little. “Mm.”
Lu Xiao chuckled low and kissed him deeply. “Just temporary. I’ll grow our corner shop.”
…
At the next day’s variety show, Lu Xiao was all smiles to everyone.
[Lu Xiao, you’re smiling like a groom. Did you succeed in proposing last night?]
[The director just gave you a seafood meal—this satisfied you?]
[When someone’s about to retire, their expression turns kind. Can’t leave the industry and fans with a black face, right?]
[You all make so much sense.]
[Yuan-yuan, why are you happy too? Terrified.jpg]
[You’re still young—Mom doesn’t allow you to smile with Lu Xiao like you’re taking wedding certificate photos.]
Meng Xueyuan secretly looked at the comments and thought: my mom agrees. But when he and Lu Xiao took their marriage certificate photos, they didn’t smile.
Today’s activity was beach cleanup. The sun was strong; everyone wore handwoven straw hats.
Standing by the sea, white waves gently kissed Meng Xueyuan’s ankles. With a stick, he hooked up plastic and foam boards brought in by the waves and put them into the trash bin.
Picking up trash while the waves rolled in, he said to Lu Xiao, “It feels like a vacation.”
Lu Xiao silently pulled his wife’s hat down a bit. Picking up trash and comparing it to a vacation—last night’s early-romance-dropout soap opera still wasn’t over.
His wife was easy to raise—so he had to raise him well.
Meng Xueyuan whispered, “Wang Changyi didn’t confess to Jiang Baibai today.”
Lu Xiao said, “Mm.”
“Jiang Baibai is really lucky,” Meng Xueyuan said.
Lu Xiao: ???
He cupped Meng Xueyuan’s pointed chin and stared seriously at him. Damn—was his wife envious of Jiang Baibai getting sweet talk every day?
Am I mute or what?! Lu Xiao thought in shock. Only doing without saying, or saying without doing—neither deserved a wife.
Looking back, because he’d been mute, it was always Meng Xueyuan who dragged the progress bar forward. He never said a word, just acted passively, head down.
“If you want to hear it, I want to say it every day.”
“I love you, Yuan-yuan.”
Lu Xiao didn’t avoid the cameras—this was basically a confession in front of the entire internet.
Meng Xueyuan’s eyes flew open. He mouthed, “Did you forget we’re live?”
“I didn’t forget,” Lu Xiao said. “If I want to say it, I say it. It’s in the plan.” Once together, of course they had to go public—so no one would use Meng Xueyuan for hype after he left.
The sea wind roared. Lu Xiao dropped to one knee, half-submerged in seawater.
“What are you doing?!”
The wind blew Meng Xueyuan’s bangs onto his eyelids, blocking his view of Lu Xiao’s expression. He wanted to brush his hair aside and pull Lu Xiao up at the same time—completely flustered.
The waves brought in an aluminum can. Lu Xiao grabbed it, yanked hard, removed the pull tab, and held up the curved end, smiling. “Meng Xueyuan, I like you.”
The last confession had been too crude—this one wasn’t exactly prepared either.
It was fine. After the show ended, he could confess again. He would make up many confessions for Meng Xueyuan.
Sunlight shone on the unrusted pull tab, casting a dazzling gleam.
Meng Xueyuan froze. He took the pull tab, compared it across his five fingers, unsure which to wear it on. In the end, he felt throwing it into the trash was more appropriate.
Lu Xiao stood up, took the pull tab, and tossed it into the bin. “I’ll make it up with a real one when we get back.”
He grabbed Meng Xueyuan’s hand and examined it. “Which finger do you like?”
Meng Xueyuan wiggled his fingers. “This one.”
[!!!!!!!! AHHHH!]
[Holy shit, how did picking up trash turn into a confession?!]
[Is it because I didn’t pay that I’m not seeing a pigeon-egg diamond proposal?]
[Real fake becomes real, fake becomes real fake—can’t tell anymore, losing it.]
[You only feed me this bite after retiring??? So no more joint appearances? Is this sugar or glass shards?!]
Lu Xiao stepped in front of Meng Xueyuan, facing the camera, smiling gently. “I know everyone’s watching.”
[You scumbag, your eyes have been glued to your wife the whole time—never look at the camera. Now you finally know how to interact?]
[Why are you blocking Yuan-yuan? Give us Yuan-yuan back!]
Lu Xiao said seriously, “I wasn’t joking just now. I’ve been unilaterally pursuing Meng Xueyuan for a long time. Thanks to Harmony of Marriage, I indeed succeeded recently.”
He remembered last night’s comments that painted Meng Xueyuan as someone who would stop at nothing to leech his final wave of popularity. He was petty—he couldn’t tolerate people talking about his wife like that.
“I won’t be in the entertainment industry anymore. I ask everyone not to over-tease Teacher Meng—he gets shy easily.”
“Since I’ve caught Teacher Meng, I’ll naturally strive every moment for a better life for us, no matter the industry. I also hope all fans will look forward and work toward a better tomorrow.”
[Speech summary: Since it’s public, I’ll symbolically comfort the solo stans—don’t take it out on my wife, okay.]
[Improvised, right? But I’m actually convinced!]
[So you can talk this well? In fanfic you’re always a deeply affectionate, taciturn top, you know?]
[Big fanfic writers revising character settings overnight.]
Meng Xueyuan’s heart pounded wildly. No wonder they were called sweet words—sweeter than falling into a jar of honey.
Seeing Lu Xiao interact with the camera, the director immediately brought over a live tablet with comments for him to read.
Lu Xiao didn’t take it—who holds a press conference after retiring?
The director handed the tablet to Meng Xueyuan.
Thinking of Lu Xiao’s fans who cared about him, Meng Xueyuan held it up to Lu Xiao’s chest. “Take a look.”
Lu Xiao took it right away and scanned it—mostly questions about where he was going next.
[On night-watchers’ dependence on sister-in-law—my vision goes black.]
pi[I have a feeling that if we want to see Lu Xiao in the future, we’ll have to beg Meng Xueyuan to kindly post some photos.]
[Solo stans’ darkest hour.]
[Sister-in-law! Sister-in-law! I’ll call it first!]
Lu Xiao picked what he could answer. “I’ll be going on a business trip for three months first. You definitely won’t see me during that time.”
“But of course you’ll see me again. My wife’s in the entertainment industry—how could I never show up?”
As he talked, he slipped up and blurted wife again.
Meng Xueyuan signaled him with his eyes to rein it in.
Lu Xiao cleared his throat. “I’ll often visit Teacher Meng on set—yes, to check attendance.”
“The variety show ends, I leave on a business trip the day after tomorrow. As for how long-distance couples relieve their longing—no need for you all to worry.”
