Chapter 13
Lu Xiao was taking quite a long time.
The longer it went on, the more Meng Xueyuan felt it was a pity—wasting it if it wasn’t used.
Ah, no, no, no—can’t be a thief! A dignified queen bee couldn’t stoop to such petty scheming. A dignified top star was still bound by industry rules; moral collapse was not allowed.
But “stealing” did seem simpler than “doing it.”
For a queen bee, as long as genetic exchange occurred, the nuptial flight counted as successful. If he just stole a little, made sure not to get pregnant, and didn’t blackmail Lu Xiao for child support…
With plenty of time, Meng Xueyuan sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, rehearsing in his head.
First, pretend to have diarrhea, bang on the door in a panic, force Lu Xiao out, then go in and—
No, wait.
There was a missing key step. In those news stories, the prerequisite was that the victim had used a condom, and the thief simply stole the condom.
Lu Xiao definitely wouldn’t use one. And there wasn’t any in his suitcase either.
There was a sound from the bathroom door. Meng Xueyuan instantly slipped back under the covers, smooth as a mermaid, his holy, aloof face emerging from the other side of the quilt.
Nothing happened.
He’d wait until he had a chance to slip a condom into Lu Xiao’s suitcase.
The queen bee thought a lot, but it didn’t affect his sleep.
Another ten minutes passed. Lu Xiao quietly returned to bed and turned his head to look at Meng Xueyuan’s sleeping face for a while.
So aloof even in sleep.
What he’d been thinking about just now were scenes of himself pinning Meng Xueyuan down in the grass on a high slope, kissing him.
That material could last him a lifetime.
Lu Xiao cautiously got into bed. The instant he lifted the quilt, a warm, honeyed scent spilled out, like being in a bakery—aroma, color, and light all tempting him to reach out and swipe a finger through the cream to taste it.
He’d once accidentally touched the tip of that cream. Although Meng Xueyuan had been facing away and couldn’t see the soft, snowy peak, still—
Forbidden material. Can’t think about it. Too easy to lose control.
Lu Xiao took a deep breath.
He couldn’t go back to the bathroom again. Besides disturbing Meng Xueyuan’s sleep, getting up too often at night would make people suspect kidney problems.
Lu Xiao fell asleep stiff as a board.
…
At seven in the morning, the production team woke them up and announced with delight that the big star Liu Qingqing had made breakfast for the entire group, and they’d soon get to enjoy a feast!
The gathering point was a large villa. Sofas were arranged in two circles, and everyone sat there waiting while Liu Qingqing cooked. Four cameras filmed the kitchen at once, as if they were shooting A Bite of China.
Two years ago, after getting married, Liu Qingqing had faded out of the industry. Now she wanted to make a comeback and market a “refined wealthy wife” persona. While frying eggs, she said, “I love cooking, but my husband doesn’t allow it—unless at least three Filipina maids are watching.”
In the small kitchen, six people were crammed together. Three wore white maid uniforms, assisting Liu Qingqing. When the leading lady fried eggs, they cracked eggs; when she stir-fried, they poured oil; when she lifted her hand, a pristine white handkerchief was immediately offered for her to wipe with.
In the industry, when someone wants to build a certain persona, everyone usually cooperates. You cover for me, I’ll play along for you.
So even though no one was actually interested in her breakfast, they all put on looks of anticipation.
Meng Xueyuan felt this kind of hype might backfire… but then again, even notoriety was still popularity—the worst thing was having no attention at all.
Breakfast took a long time, so long that Li Fei from the esports group leaned against Ouyang Lai’s shoulder and fell back asleep.
Meng Xueyuan withdrew his gaze and casually looked for Lu Xiao, only to realize he didn’t know when Lu Xiao had gone out.
At last the food was served: fried eggs and toast, blanched broccoli with prawns, beef meatball soup… basically boiled dishes with careful plating. The decorative effort was impressive, but it didn’t really test actual cooking skills.
Meng Xueyuan picked up a beef meatball and took a bite, only to find the center still cold—it hadn’t been thawed and had gone straight into the pot, so it wasn’t cooked through.
He quietly spat the meatball out. Lu Xiao returned and sat down beside him, took the meatball from his palm, and replaced it with a seaweed rice ball.
Meng Xueyuan: “?”
Lu Xiao: “Just made it.” One look and he knew the breakfast would be bad, so he’d gone out to find another kitchen and used leftover rice to make Meng Xueyuan a rice ball.
“I’m blocking the camera—eat it while it’s hot.” At the moment there was only a distant wide shot, blocked by Lu Xiao, while the other two cameras were focused on the dishes and on Liu Qingqing sharing her “wealthy wife” lifestyle.
Both were rich wives, and Liu Qingqing and Yao Quan were in perfect harmony, never letting a single line drop flat.
On variety shows, it was normal for guests to form cliques.
Hiding behind Lu Xiao, Meng Xueyuan ate the rice ball bite by bite, like… a well-behaved student sneaking breakfast during morning reading while keeping an eye out for the homeroom teacher—breakfast delivered by his delinquent boyfriend.
As he ate, Meng Xueyuan looked over at the esports pair. They didn’t have a habit of getting up early for breakfast and would rather sleep leaning against each other.
Such a good relationship.
Nearby, Best Actress Jiang Weina said to Wang Dalin, “I’ve already discussed it with the production team. Your persona is ‘henpecked husband.’ Later at the wedding banquet, whatever I say, you do. You have to dote on your wife, got it?”
Wang Dalin: “Mm-hmm.”
Meng Xueyuan felt that Wang Dalin’s henpecked nature wasn’t a persona—it was his true self.
He and Lu Xiao hadn’t coordinated any special setup with the director, but he guessed the director had seen some suggestive online comments and that was why the two of them were put in the same room.
Lu Xiao flicked his eyes toward Wang Dalin’s direction.
Meng Xueyuan asked, “Have you eaten?”
Lu Xiao had been about to say he already had, but seeing that Meng Xueyuan still had about a third of the rice ball left and probably couldn’t finish it, he went along with it. “No.”
Meng Xueyuan turned the rice ball, exposing the side he hadn’t bitten into. “You can sneak a bit too.”
The word “sneak” made him think of some immoral things, and he pressed his lips together.
Lu Xiao took one bite and ate half of it.
Eating his wife’s leftovers ?
Seeing Lu Xiao polish off the rice ball in just a few bites, Meng Xueyuan realized he really was hungry.
…
The director clapped his hands. “Alright, next we’re heading to the wedding banquet. Five tasks—whoever claims one first gets it.”
Director: “Do the bride’s makeup!”
Best Actress Jiang Weina immediately raised her hand. “I can do makeup!”
Director: “Help the groom receive guests.”
“Help the groom set the tables.”
“Chop vegetables and wash them.”
Four tasks, and Lu Xiao didn’t react to any of them. None were suitable for his wife to do—nope, pass, keep waiting.
Meng Xueyuan followed Lu Xiao with absolute trust as he strategized.
Director: “The last task—watch the kids, take them to play games.”
Lu Xiao: “……”
Meng Xueyuan: “……”
Many children had come to the wedding banquet, most under six and not yet in school. The adults were busy all day and couldn’t keep an eye on them, so they ran wild everywhere.
Lu Xiao pulled a long face, looking like the director owed him tens of billions. With a task like this, his wife would definitely be angry.
Wanting to comfort Lu Xiao after the blow of the assignment, Meng Xueyuan caught sight of Li Fei and Ouyang Lai preparing to chop and wash vegetables. An idea struck, and he stepped forward to negotiate. “Can we switch tasks?”
Li Fei and Ouyang Lai exchanged looks. “Sorry, we don’t know how to look after kids either.”
Meng Xueyuan said with confidence, “You do. The two of you just sit there and start a round of Honor of Kings. The kids won’t be able to move away.”
Li Fei: “……”
Though Meng Xueyuan usually didn’t talk much, he tried hard to persuade them so Lu Xiao could avoid childcare. “Chopping vegetables and holding knives is really tiring. Let me do that kind of work.”
Ouyang Lai squeezed Li Fei’s palm. “That works.”
Meng Xueyuan: “Tha—”
An annoying voice suddenly cut in. Yao Quan shouted, “Letting two gay men watch the kids—aren’t you teaching the children to go astray?”
Meng Xueyuan’s expression turned cold. Their faces didn’t say “gay,” and there hadn’t been any intimate behavior with Lu Xiao either—what influence was there?
Comments like Yao Quan’s would be edited out later, but she was very good at being disgusting in the moment.
Li Fei’s gaze turned fierce, but Ouyang Lai grabbed the back of his neck. “Fighting means suspension.”
Lu Xiao said, “Indeed, no one teaches kids better than you. Your son gambled himself into debt and got detained in Mexico—just redeemed him, right?”
Xie Jingfeng replied calmly, “That’s not true. Don’t spread rumors.”
Yao Quan said, “What nonsense are you talking about? Old Xie, let’s go greet the guests.”
Relying on the fact that a fight wouldn’t break out, Yao Quan tossed out her sarcasm and ran—an old trick.
Lu Xiao started to feel this variety show was terrible. His purpose was to date; who cared to dig up people’s dirty laundry?
He met Ouyang Lai’s eyes and gestured for him to step outside.
Ouyang Lai hadn’t reacted yet, but Li Fei beside him was extremely sensitive to the “brothers going out to fight” eye signal among underachievers. He quickly shook off the restraint and followed.
Ouyang Lai: “…Lu Xiao has a sense of proportion, right?”
Meng Xueyuan said with certainty, “He does.”
He’d never seen Lu Xiao lose his sense of proportion.
Ouyang Lai still felt something was off, but the director urged them to start the task, so he held his worry and opened a game, turning the sound effects up loud. Before long, all the little brats in the fields gathered around.
“He’s a Legendary King!”
“He has 100 stars! He’s insanely strong!”
The kids didn’t recognize esports world champions, but they could understand ranks. In games, they were instinctively drawn to strength, and they crowded around Ouyang Lai, refusing to leave.
Meng Xueyuan conscientiously went to wash vegetables. He carried over a basin of broccoli and carefully trimmed them into little florets.
Outside, Lu Xiao didn’t mind that it was Li Fei who came out. He tapped his phone and said, “We both have fans. Within a ten-kilometer radius, it wouldn’t be hard for each of us to shake up thirty fans, right?”
“Thirty?” Li Fei cracked his knuckles. Was this going to be a big job? But… could you hit women?
Lu Xiao shook his head. “No fighting. Just trash talk. Who can’t do that?”
Li Fei got it—verbal warfare. His fans had filthy mouths; he was good at this.
Lu Xiao pretended to mobilize people, but in reality he just called two bodyguards. He and Meng Xueyuan had too many female fans; it wasn’t convenient to involve them.
Ten minutes later—
Lu Xiao called the groom away, leaving Xie Jingfeng and Yao Quan alone at the roadside to receive guests.
Xie Jingfeng and Yao Quan kept fake smiles plastered on their faces, but in reality they were already impatient. What was there to receive from a village full of old men and women? Back in the day when they ran with the underworld, everyone they dealt with was a big boss. These days, even when attending ribbon-cuttings, they’d just show their faces and leave.
What level were these people anyway—
“So old and ugly—this is the welcoming staff? Aren’t groomsmen supposed to do this? At that age, can that geezer even be a groomsman?”
“This is a couple? They look close on the surface but estranged underneath. Standing here just adds bad luck for the newlyweds!”
“Who said there’d be pretty ladies welcoming guests? I came all this way for nothing!”
“These two look so fierce. Standing here makes me scared to go in even if I have an invitation.”
A group of blond-dyed youths rode past on motorcycles, glanced at them, and tossed out their disdain.
Xie Jingfeng’s nose nearly twisted in anger. These punks weren’t even qualified to be his lackeys, yet today they dared to curse him to his face. “Security!”
Yao Quan’s face alternated between green and red. She knew without thinking that this was Lu Xiao’s doing. “Where’s security? How did they get in?!”
The blond youths rode off on their motorcycles after one pass; of course security couldn’t catch them. No one knew where they came from. After a while, they came back for another lap, like cats teasing mice.
Xie Jingfeng and Yao Quan directly abandoned their task, faces ashen, saying they felt unwell and were going back to rest—no more filming.
Director: “……” The situation was spiraling out of control. Luckily, there was always the magical editing scissors.
Li Fei ran out from behind the scenes and said with feigned surprise, “You’re quitting? Then I’ll do it.”
The blond youths rode past again, whistling and shouting “God Fei,” swaggering away noisily, and even gifted the hosts a full round of the biggest red-carpet firecrackers.
With permission, Li Fei set them off immediately.
Firecrackers to drive away bad luck.
Yao Quan and Xie Jingfeng, still on their way back: “……”
As the firecrackers went off, the festive atmosphere grew even stronger, while the people inside still had no idea what had happened.
After finishing a game, Ouyang Lai went to look for Li Fei.
“Why are you standing here?”
“Perfect timing. Let’s welcome guests together.”
Li Fei excitedly described their counterattack, his words making it sound as if he and Lu Xiao were such good brothers they wore the same pair of pants.
Ouyang Lai fell silent for a moment, then said gently, “Those were all your fans? What about Lu Xiao’s?”
Li Fei: “?”
……
Lu Xiao strolled over to help Meng Xueyuan wash vegetables. “I’ll do it.”
Meng Xueyuan let go and went to carry another bag of leafy greens to wash, busy and cheerful, determined to live up to the two packs of cigarettes the groom had given him.
Lu Xiao: “Leave it to me—”
“Ah—!” With a bang, the hired chef from the groom’s family slipped on detergent foam spilled from dishwashing water and landed hard on his backside.
Meng Xueyuan and Lu Xiao were nearby and hurried to help him up. “Are you okay? Should we take you to the hospital for a scan?”
The old man rubbed his butt. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Didn’t hit a bone.”
Lu Xiao wasn’t entirely reassured. Falls could be big or small—sometimes you felt fine on the spot, only for problems to show up later. On such a joyous day, everything needed to be safe.
He called security to come over and send the chef to the hospital.
The chef was very responsible and insisted on finishing his work. “I can’t leave. I’m the only one in the village who can handle a wedding banquet. It’s almost time to serve—let me tough it out. I’ll go this afternoon.”
Indeed, if the chef left, everyone else would be lost.
Lu Xiao said, “I’ll take over.”
The chef looked skeptical. “You… if you said you could cook Western food, I might believe it.”
Lu Xiao said, “Watch and see.”
The chef was preparing garlic sauce to pour over vermicelli abalone later.
Lu Xiao picked up a bowl of crushed garlic and smelled it.
The chef let out a “hmph” from his throat.
Lu Xiao looked up. “I know. You rinse the garlic once with water, strain and squeeze it dry first—to remove the harshness.”
A big stove, a big wok, and a spatula nearly a meter long—an ultimate weapon exclusive to chefs.
Lu Xiao held it with ease, poured in oil, added the garlic, and controlled the heat of the large wok.
Before long, golden, fragrant garlic came out of the pan. Well-done garlic smelled as if it had been imbued with the freshness of seafood itself.
Meng Xueyuan swallowed.
The chef couldn’t help but look at him anew. “You’ve got it. I’ll go to the hospital then.”
Lu Xiao beckoned to Meng Xueyuan. “Come here. Stop washing vegetables.”
He had voluntarily taken on the main chef’s role precisely so his wife wouldn’t have to wash vegetables.
Meng Xueyuan stood upwind, free of oil smoke. “Then what should I do?”
Lu Xiao said, “Whatever I ask for, you hand it to me. Soy sauce.”
Meng Xueyuan picked up the soy sauce.
Lu Xiao hooked his lips into a smile. Husband-and-husband teamwork—work didn’t feel tiring.
He flicked the spatula and quickly evaporated the remaining water droplets in the wok. “Next we’re stir-frying wild mushrooms with pig’s tail. Lots of collagen—you should eat more later.”
Lu Xiao was so handsome.
Standing to Lu Xiao’s left, Meng Xueyuan rose onto his toes and quietly felt a little happy.
He felt he was very suited to being a queen bee and wanted to keep being one—but if Lu Xiao never mated with him, he didn’t want to look for anyone else either.
Even if a new queen bee were to appear in the future, he would still stand his post to the very end. As industrial society advances, humans use technology to cope with all kinds of disasters. Perhaps the spiritual energy sensed that its mission was complete and began to dissipate faster and faster. Perhaps in a hundred years, perhaps in even more time, their hive clans would ultimately break down into individual small families, each fighting on its own. He only hoped that by then, every member of the clan would start life with food and clothing secured.
The director watched helplessly as Lu Xiao took on the role of head chef and the esports pair handled guest reception—everyone had switched into free mode, free to an extreme degree.
Forget it.
The most-used equipment at the banquet was the steamer; all the seafood went into steamers. After Lu Xiao adjusted the seasonings and gave a few instructions, the people beside him—who weren’t completely inexperienced—were able to take over smoothly.
Meng Xueyuan told his assistant to bring a fresh set of clothes and asked Lu Xiao to go change.
Once Lu Xiao was changed, they too took their seats to eat.
The guests’ expressions were clearly more animated than during breakfast, and they praised Lu Xiao’s skills from the heart.
The film queen teased, “Little Meng, you’re way too blessed. With a husband like that, it’s so hard to keep in shape. Good thing Old Wang married me.”
Wang Dalin shoveled food noisily. “Yeah, yeah.”
The film queen slapped his belly. “I told you to keep in shape.”
Wang Dalin said, “Next time. It’s rare that Lu Xiao cooks—miss this chance and it’s gone.”
The film queen nodded. “True.”
Meng Xueyuan sat properly, thinking: no, Lu Xiao only forces me to eat eggs.
Lu Xiao picked up a small bowl of pig’s tail for him. “Try it.”
Meng Xueyuan took a bite—soft and springy, rich with sauce but not greasy, one bite per piece.
After the meal, the director disappeared. It was said he had a headache and went back to sort out the process while the cameramen continued filming.
Li Fei, having eaten a meal cooked by Lu Xiao, immediately forgot about being set up earlier and warmly invited Meng Xueyuan and Lu Xiao to his place to play games.
With such enthusiasm, it was hard to refuse. Meng Xueyuan rarely played games—just one or two rounds occasionally—and because his rank was too low, he always matched with elementary school kids.
When world champions were willing to carry him, refusing would be too rude.
Meng Xueyuan was often criticized in the entertainment industry for having no friends, but in truth it was just that he didn’t want to go out after work.
Perhaps because Lu Xiao was there too, Meng Xueyuan felt an urge to make friends. “Sure. Is your place big?”
Li Fei said, “Not big. No living room. It’s fine—we can sit on the bed.”
Li Fei’s place was close by, perfect for a post-meal gaming session.
He twisted open the door, grabbed the unmade bedding from when he’d left in the morning, and flipped it up.
Ouyang Lai said, “Wait.”
Something flew off the bed and fell down. The cameraman was just about to film it.
Meng Xueyuan suddenly squatted down, picked up an unopened condom from the floor, and slipped it into his pocket.
Ouyang Lai shot him a grateful look. He hadn’t expected Meng Xueyuan—so cold-faced—to be warm-hearted, unlike the rumors.
Meng Xueyuan: “……” Mm.
Was this because they’d violently torn open a brand-new box on the bed, so one fell out?
Since you have a whole box, I won’t return this one.
