After Waking Up I Inherited the Earth [Interstellar] – CH33

Chapter 33

Candied Roasted Chestnut Maker!
It handled everything in one go—shelling, washing, and cooking.

Oh my god… what kind of dream machine is this?!
The system really gets him!

And the special effect of the candied roasted chestnuts it produced was different from the other two machines. This time, the special effect was—enhanced physique!

Thinking of the butler’s constitution—how he absorbed dark matter more easily than ordinary people—Xie Xingchen suddenly felt these candied roasted chestnuts might suit him even better than scallion pancakes and scallion-oil noodles, whose effects were only “weakly expelling dark matter.”

After all, the butler’s biggest problem was how easily his body absorbed dark matter. In that case, strengthening his physique was the real “treat the root” approach. Once his constitution improved, could he become like a normal person?

Besides, candied roasted chestnuts looked simple. To someone who didn’t understand cooking, making them didn’t seem technical at all!
It was just constant stir-frying—something even a robot could do.

With that thought, Xie Xingchen finally relaxed.

This time, when he sent candied roasted chestnuts to the butler, he wouldn’t be afraid the butler would notice anything strange.

Candied roasted chestnuts are the best! 

He didn’t care—candied roasted chestnuts were simply better than scallion-oil noodles!

At the very least, this kind of thing was really convenient for him to make up an excuse. ????????
Xie Xingchen felt at ease.

Xie Xingchen went to sleep.

And while he slept, he had no idea the outside world had turned upside down.

Earth Trading House!
A small shop that had made the StarNet hot searches multiple times by selling premium green plants at ridiculously low prices!

In just a few short months, this new shop’s unconventional operations had driven its traffic to the level of long-established internet-famous stores—reaching a downright terrifying scale.

But this time, it hit the trending list not because it sold products—quite the opposite.
It trended because it—wasn’t selling any products!

The whole thing started with a video posted by a junior from the Planting Department of First Academy, fueled by envy and jealousy.

In his video, several teachers sat in the academy’s small garden, leisurely having afternoon tea and snacks.

And here’s the key point—afternoon tea and snacks!

They weren’t drinking ordinary tea or eating ordinary pastries. They were drinking beautiful, enchanting flower tea, and eating some kind of food no one could even name!

Inside a crystal teapot, gorgeous flowers bloomed and rose and fell with the water—red roses and golden osmanthus intertwining, as if forming a painting.

Combined with the charming garden scenery and the elegant, beautiful ladies—though only their side profiles were visible—it was basically a premium “get-you-hooked” recommendation video!

What’s more, these refined ladies were being extremely unrefined… eating snacks with their hands.

And the snack pieces were small, looked delicious, and were even thoughtfully portioned as bite-sized, one-per-mouthful treats!

Look at the garden, the flower tea—then look at the women closing their eyes in enjoyment.

Everyone: Insane.
“……”

[Ocean Baby, a tiny salty fish: Someone tell me what they’re eating! I want it too!]

[Gulu Tree Tree Qiu’s Grassland: Want +1. It looks so good! Is this some new food product ad? Stop talking and drop the link!]

[Live-stream Lover: Girls really do live exquisitely at any age… waaah, the sisters are so elegant, I love it. Begging for the same link—seller, stop teasing, hurry up! You’ve got money to make, so make it!]

After watching the video, netizens wailed.

You want money? Fine—take it!
Stop messing with our emotions all day.

Waaah, we get influenced so easily—what can we do!

However—

The student who posted the video popped up, secretly delighted, and replied.

[Nock: Seller? Link? Dream on. I waited forever and still didn’t get any link 0V0]

Everyone: ?
What the hell—if it’s not a seller selling something, then what was the point of posting this video?
Just to make us crave it?

[Nock: Yep, purely to make you guys crave it. Can’t have only me suffering from this “poison,” right?]

Everyone: ?
Is this something a human would do?!

[Weird Brain Circuit: Kid, you’re young and don’t know how cruel the world is. Look at the flowers by the roadside—do you want to know why they’re so red?]

[Lions Are the Handsomest: Damn, brat, you better pray you never run into me. Otherwise if I don’t beat you up, I’d be embarrassed to call myself from the Animal Civilization!]

[Morning After Rain: Oh, so the one above really is from Animal Civilization—tsk tsk tsk, always fighting at the drop of a hat. Your civilization really produces nothing but big brutes.]

[Lions Are the Handsomest: @Morning After Rain What’d you say? That tone—don’t tell me you’re from Plant Civilization? I’ll trash-talk you, so what? Can’t beat us so you hide online with sarcasm? Got guts, meet me offline for a fight! No guts, then stop yapping!]

[Nock: Everyone, don’t fight, don’t fight. Even if you argue, don’t start broad map attacks. Peace, peace.]

Recently, Animal Civilization and Plant Civilization had some friction, so when citizens of those two civilizations met online, their words tended to carry a spark.

Seeing signs of a fight, Nock hurried to smooth things over.

He really didn’t want his StarBlog to become a battlefield where both civilizations’ keyboard warriors concentrated their fire!

Fortunately, the “firefighting” was timely—and everyone’s attention was on the flower tea and snacks—so overall, the comment section under Nock’s post remained “harmonious.”

Of course, it would’ve been better if there weren’t so many comments about mailing him knives.

[Knife Spirit: Blogger, you’ve got the nerve to post a video—then say something! If you don’t talk, I’m mailing you knives, got it?]

[Suffering Poor Guy: Even though I don’t have money, I still want to save up and buy the flower tea and that snack!]

[Hungry Woodpecker: Wuwuwu, blogger look at me—I have money! I’m super rich! I lack nothing except the link to buy things. Blogger, good people live long—send me a link please!]

Nock paused, then replied helplessly.

[Nock: @Hungry Woodpecker I want to send a link too, but the problem is… they don’t sell to ordinary people.]

That would’ve been fine—but once he said it, everyone’s curiosity instantly shot up 200%.

Not selling to ordinary people?

So this is—high-end stuff?

Catching a whiff of something different, netizens who were casually commenting suddenly got hyped.

[Garenvas: High-end goods? Interesting.]

[I Really Don’t Want to Wake Up for School: No matter how high-end it is, there’s a price. If you have enough money, what can’t you buy? @Nock Just say where to buy it. Those who can get it will get it.]

[BM9879: [Zoomed-in detail screenshot.jpg]]

[BM9879: I think I found the place.]

[BM9879: Take it—no need to thank me 0.0]

The world never lacks Sherlock Holmes.

And besides, Nock’s “censoring” was laughably thin.

In just a few minutes, Earth Trading House got decoded.

In the video’s crystal teapot were roses and osmanthus!
Netizens who were online every day knew those were signature plants from Earth Trading House!
So… the flower tea came from Earth Trading House?

Then what about the snack?

Could that be from Earth Trading House too?

Once it was decoded, Nock panicked a little.

He only wanted to farm a wave of followers—he didn’t want to cause a huge incident!
Otherwise he wouldn’t have posted only side-profile shots of the teachers.

But now Earth Trading House had been exposed.

Would Professor Ni come after him?

Nock immediately played dead, pretending nothing happened.

But the moment he played dead, it basically screamed: Earth Trading House has secrets.

When Nock didn’t reply for a long time, the Sherlocks mobilized.

From Nock’s older posts, they discovered he was a student in the Planting Department at Human Civilization’s First Academy.

At the same time, someone recognized the ladies in the video.

Combine that with the fact that Xie Xingchen also graduated from the same school—

Case closed!
This was a perk the Earth Trading House owner gave to the Planting Department teachers.

[My Dream Is to Own a Planet: Wuwuwu—while I still haven’t managed to grab even one bouquet, the teachers already have everything I’ve ever dreamed of.]

[I Have Two Big Chubby Kids: So… is it still in time to become a teacher now? I also want a student like the Earth Trading House boss!]

[Don’t Want to Bear Fruit Anymore: Don’t want to be a teacher, just want to eat. That plant they’re drinking looks so unusual—I’ve never seen it. Is it an Earth specialty?]

[Hundred Years Without Moving: Same, never seen it. Probably Earth specialty +1. But wait—wasn’t Earth an extremely remote planet? How does it have so many specialties?]

[Rules Are King: To the Plant Civilization citizen above—first understand this: a remote location doesn’t mean few species. It only means building that planet costs a lot.]

True. Throughout interstellar history, the universe never lacked remote planets rich in resources—what they lacked were massive funds and planters.

And—

Sometimes “rich in species” didn’t mean “rich in safe species.” It could mean “rich in dangerous species.”

If it’s the latter—congrats. Run for your life.

[Hungry Woodpecker: Hey, stop going off-topic! We’re talking food—talk food properly. Talking about other things is pointless… forget it, I’m not arguing with you. I’m going to leave a message at Earth Trading House. Boss Xie is way too unfair—treating teachers is fine, but at least leave some for us too! [Bear roaring.jpg]]

Right! They were here for the link.

Fine—since someone started it, let’s go “harass” Boss Xie at Earth Trading House together!

They knew the boss occasionally checked the message board, so the fans, “righteously indignant,” switched over to Earth Trading House.

When they saw the ethereal, fairy-like Earth Trading House, everyone unanimously chose single-player entry mode.

Instantly, the air felt fresher.

After entering, many people couldn’t help but stroll around and take a sniff.

Finally, once they felt pleasantly soothed, they walked to the message board.

At first they felt like they had nothing to say—yet once they started writing, they realized they were about to fill an entire page.

And the more they wrote, the more upset they got; the more upset they got, the more they wanted to write!

When submitting, they even couldn’t resist poking hard at the glowing blue Earth-sphere emblem of Earth Trading House (only planet owners have this emblem; it represents the planet under their name), then submitted their messages with gloomy faces.

After submitting, everyone returned to StarNet to keep wailing.

A flurry of actions fierce as a tiger—Earth Trading House became “famous” on the trending list again.

But this time the tags weren’t “conscientious,” “cheap,” “love it,” but instead:

“biased,” “put it on the shelves already,” “open another shop,” and so on.

At first, it was just a carnival for Earth Trading House fans. But maybe the magic of food was stronger—before long, even people who weren’t longtime fans joined in.

And boom—interstellar trending got blown up!

#BossXieIsBiased
#EarthTradingHouseOpensAFoodShop

The two hashtags surged from the bottom of the main board upward like they were on fire.

He woke up refreshed.

Standing by his bedroom window, facing a vast lavender field, Xie Xingchen lazily stretched.

Another day of hard work and striving!

After cleaning up and deciding to keep striving today, he went to the “food room” and quickly made himself a bowl of scallion-oil noodles.

In less than two minutes, the scallion-oil noodle machine dispensed a portion.

Xie Xingchen: sparkly eyes.jpg
Perfect! Absolutely perfect.

If only he could buy a youtiao-maker and soy-milk-maker next, then it would be even better!

Xie Xingchen: Food machines are the best!

There was no machine in this world more perfect than a food machine!

While happily eating his scallion-oil noodles, he opened his messages.

He first replied to the butler’s daily greetings and Ni Kunqi’s concerned texts, then finally opened Ludwig’s message.

Just like always—true to his nature as a mechanical lifeform, Ludwig’s replies were as simple as possible.

[Ludwig: Thanks. Randy likes the candied roasted chestnuts a lot.]

Used to it, Xie Xingchen casually sent back an emoji sticker and didn’t bother further.

He opened the game system and checked his revenue—35.12 million star-coins.

Xie Xingchen: droopy cat.jpg
So little!

At the moment, excluding the newly acquired scallion-oil noodles and candied roasted chestnuts, Xie Xingchen’s daily revenue was about 1.6 million star-coins.

For an ordinary shop, that wasn’t small. But for Xie Xingchen—who was eyeing the hundred-billion workshops in the game shop—it was pitifully low.

Even though—

His profit margin was absurdly high.

But high profit didn’t help—what he needed was revenue!

Still, it was fine.

Xie Xingchen comforted himself.

Just wait another half month!
When his flower fields expanded again, he could increase the amount of flowers he stocked each day. Then those big workshops would be entirely within reach!

Thinking of his precious flower fields, after breakfast, he couldn’t resist going to take a look.

The scent of flowers drifting through the air was so enchanting, so tempting.

Mm—confirmed. This was the smell of money!

Xie Xingchen smiled brightly, as if a galaxy glittered in his eyes.

Watching the planting robots busily tending the flowers, he nodded in satisfaction. Then he turned and left, driving a hovercar and taking the three humanoid robots—Get-Rich, Prosperity, and Long-Life—out to “explore” again.

Well—calling it exploring wasn’t quite right!

Xie Xingchen was just craving those fat rabbits in the rapeseed flower fields.

Spicy rabbit heads, peppery-numbing rabbit meat, spicy rabbit slices, steamed rabbit with rice flour…

Slurp!

Just imagining it made him drool.

Especially spicy dishes—he hadn’t tasted them in so long. Now that he’d finally found a chili substitute, he had to indulge!

Speaking of chilies, he really had feelings about it.

Chilies here were actually sold as ornamental plants?
Xie Xingchen was speechless when he saw that.

Back then, he couldn’t help complaining that chili development here was like ancient China.

But then again, it kind of made sense.

After all, interstellar people rarely ate food; the “spiciness” in nutrient solutions was only a faint hint.

And the “devil pepper” Xie Xingchen found?

—Super, insanely intense!

So intense that even he, someone who liked spicy food, felt his mouth burn from a single bite. If cooking, half a pepper would probably be more than enough.

In the rapeseed flower field, he swiftly caught a silly rabbit. Before it even recovered, he ran back to the hovercar.

Back at the starship, he had Prosperity cage the rabbit, planning to slaughter it for dinner.

Then he went off to work in the flower fields.

But before he even reached them, his light-brain notification kept chiming.

[StarNet Mall: Dear Mr. “Xie Xingchen,” our system has detected that your shop “Earth Trading House” messages are nearing the upper limit! To ensure customer information refreshes in time, please check your shop’s message board as soon as possible!]

Xie Xingchen: ?

What? Message board nearing the limit?
It’s the interstellar era—shop message boards can hit an upper limit?!

Xie Xingchen was stunned.

What he didn’t know was: StarNet Mall staff were even more stunned.

Truly—live long enough and you’ll see everything!

They actually encountered a case where a shop’s unread message board count hit the system limit.

Ridiculous!

After all, people open shops to make money.

And profitable shops usually have customer service, right?

Yet Earth Trading House was the one-in-ten-thousand oddball.

It opened a shop. It made money. But it had no customer service!

Not only that—the owner was so willful that he rarely checked messages or the board.

Worst of all: the shop traffic was insanely high!

So the initial system setting that had never been used for years finally got used.

Programmers: ……

Respect to the predecessors’ foresight!

So there really are shop owners who don’t care about customer feedback!

Without the built-in reminder, the boss might never read messages in his lifetime…

A moment of silence for this shop’s customers!

And honestly, Xie Xingchen was “honored”—for all these years, only he had received a direct light-brain reminder from the mall’s central AI!

Xie Xingchen muttered, confused, “How could it be full?”

He remembered clearing it out just three or four days ago.

With doubts, he stopped walking and opened the shop message board section.

Then the bright red 99,999 unread messages successfully scared him.

Xie Xingchen: 🙂
Instantly lost the desire to click in.

What are all these red dots trying to do?

One glance was enough for him to know—somewhere, without his knowledge, another trending explosion had definitely happened.

He skimmed a few messages, and sure enough: StarNet hot searches were pulling some stunt again.

Switching to the trending page, he opened the main board like he was used to doing.

Now the trending keywords had changed:

#WhenWillBossXieNoticeThis
#BossXieIsTrulyRichAndWillful
#SoThereReallyArePeopleWhoDon’tLoveMoney

Xie Xingchen: ?
Xie Xingchen: 🙂 That… isn’t about me, right?

Xie Xingchen: You ducks really don’t have to!
Not love money? How could he not love money?!
He felt no one in this world loved money more than him!

What was wrong with these netizens—making up rumors about him all day?

Xie Xingchen: pointing.jpg
He rolled up his sleeves. Time to work.

[Xie Xingchen V: I love money. Don’t mess with me! [Bunny bye-bye.jpg]]

Who knew—what if the God of Wealth heard it and really thought he didn’t love money, and stopped blessing him with riches?

This had to be clarified immediately!

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