Chapter 50: The Love Manual
The next day, there was no court session. Fu Xun cuddled Han Min and slept until the sun was high.
Chu Yu, the duty palace attendant for the day, held a small notebook and waited outside. Since it was a draft, he wrote casually:
— Mao hour (5:00 A.M – 7:00 A.M), hasn’t woken.
— Chen hour (7:00 A.M – 9:00 A.M), hasn’t woken.
— Still hasn’t woken, suspected illness, unsure if the imperial physician should be called.
In truth, Fu Xun had already awakened; he was accustomed to rising early for martial training.
However, thinking of last night—whenever he left, Han Min would wake up—he didn’t get up immediately. Han Min was too perceptive; Fu Xun wanted to sleep a bit longer and stayed in bed with him.
Moreover, Fu Xun had discovered a more interesting place than Han Min’s hair.
His little belly.
Last night, watching Han Min massage it, he thought it looked soft and had massaged it a couple of times himself. The texture was indeed nice.
Though Han Min was slim and didn’t appear to have much flesh, it was extremely soft. His whole body was soft; the hair Fu Xun had enjoyed playing with before was like raven feathers.
Fu Xun massaged Han Min’s belly through the blanket and suddenly thought—his butt might be even softer, after all, he always sat while writing.
Lying in bed with someone you like, early in the morning, it’s natural to feel a bit mischievous.
Just as he was having fun, Han Min hummed and opened his eyes, still drowsy, catching Fu Xun in the act.
“What are you doing?”
Fu Xun paused, then pushed him slightly and lied without changing expression: “Just trying to wake you up.”
He lifted the blanket; Han Min’s hand was tightly gripping his sleeve.
Fu Xun said, “Look, just because of you, what time is it already?”
Han Min let go: “Sorry. But couldn’t you just take off your clothes?”
Fu Xun said, “Then I go out like that, and today Chu Zhuoshi is on duty. He’ll write this in the daily records. Future readers will know about this incident.”
“Oh, right.”
Han Min then remembered and sat up to help Fu Xun straighten his clothes. Clothes in order, misunderstandings avoided.
Palace attendants brought in warm water and clothes. Chu Yu glanced from outside, smiled, and lowered his head to record. No wonder there was someone else involved.
The pleasures of the spring night were fleeting once the day began; it was understandable.
Then he heard someone speaking.
“I want tofu-skin buns. Does Your Majesty want some?”
Fu Xun asked, “Hmm, eat them soon?”
“Better at noon; the kitchen might not have time now.”
The voice was familiar. Chu Yu turned his head and realized it was Han Min. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, holding a towel to wipe his face.
Fu Xun stood to the side, dressing, casually chatting with him. Chu Yu froze.
So, why write about the censor or the top scholar in a tale when there’s a palace attendant like Han Min—clearly a better subject for a story.
Han Min saw him and waved quickly, signaling him not to record it.
Chu Yu understood but deliberately winked and quickly scribbled everything on paper: Don’t worry, I’ve got it all down.
—
After washing up, Han Min returned to Wenying Hall to organize yesterday’s duty records.
After writing for a while, he remembered he had blocked the system last night.
Once reactivated, the system anxiously asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, what could happen?”
“Just… you weren’t bullied by Fu Xun, right?”
The system didn’t want him to know and sent another message to the control center.
Near noon, Han Min finished the records, put down his pen, stretched, and was about to leave when a palace attendant knocked.
“Lord Han, it’s late. His Majesty requests your presence at Funing Palace for lunch.”
In Funing Palace, Chu Yu held paper and pen, standing as fine dishes passed before him. He had been on duty for half a month but never joined the emperor for a meal. He jotted a note, made a bow, and prepared to leave.
Fu Xun called, “Wait.”
Chu Yu brightened, intending to compliment the emperor in the records, and noticed three sets of tableware—another person was present.
Fu Xun, originally reading on the couch, glanced at the tofu-skin buns and instructed, “Move them to the other side.”
A palace attendant announced outside, “Your Majesty, Lord Han has arrived.”
Fu Xun closed his book with a faint smile. Han Min, wearing his usual attire, greeted him formally and then went to stand beside Chu Yu.
Chu Yu realized it was due to Han Min’s presence.
He whispered, “Lord Han, the emperor never invited me to eat.”
Han Min smiled, “Then you can try the pig’s trotter soup.”
“What’s wrong with that soup?”
“That’s the ‘deep loyalty between emperor and subject’ soup, a special gift from the Empress Dowager.”
Chu Yu, not understanding, nudged him: “Why pig’s trotter soup? Who’s the big pig, the emperor or the subject?”
He glanced at Fu Xun: “It must be him. I’ve known him almost two years, never invited me to a meal. Today you’re here, so I get to eat—ha, big pig’s soup.”
The same soup, entirely different interpretation.
Han Min whispered, “Be careful what you say.”
Chu Yu, not truly angry, hugged his waist secretly and said, “Hey, when are you leaving the palace? Meet me at Wenying Hall at noon?”
Fu Xun, sitting on the couch, coughed heavily into his fist, then got up and sat at the head of the table, signaling Han Min over. Han Min tugged Chu Yu’s sleeve to join him.
After sitting, attendants brought warm water; after washing, they silently withdrew.
Fu Xun pointed at the small buns in front of Han Min: “You wanted to eat these in the morning, right?”
Han Min quietly thanked him; Chu Yu mentally snorted. The storyteller Pine Smoke Ink Guest clearly had poor eyesight, unable to tell who was close to whom and just wrote blindly.
Chu Yu took a bite of his food; the taste was good. He thought, If only Han Min were here every day.
—
After lunch, duty attendants had half an hour to rest.
Chu Yu unpacked a large bundle of bedding, placed his own on top of the existing, kneeling to arrange it. Han Min was amazed he brought his own bedding.
Chu Yu explained: “The palace bedding is a bit hard; my family worries I won’t sleep well.”
Han Min chuckled: “Are you the Princess and the Pea, Chu Zhuoshi?”
“Who’s that?”
Chu Yu patted the soft pillow and invited Han Min: “Come, I’ll sleep with you today.”
Just after eating, they sat close on the couch, reading together.
Chu Yu asked: “Who’s the Princess and the Pea?”
Han Min explained: “A princess, delicate skin, with a pea under twenty mattresses, couldn’t sleep.”
Chu Yu grabbed his face jokingly: “I’ll tear your mouth apart.”
Han Min dodged, laughing: “What kind of filling is this blanket made of?”
“Goose down.”
Han Min murmured: “A Chu Zhuoshi nap would require ten geese to accompany him.”
Chu Yu covered his mouth: “Stop talking.”
Han Min nodded, hand over head. No more talking.
Chu Yu squeezed him gently: “No need for ten geese, one Lord Han is enough.”
He leaned back against the pillow, picking up the book again.
Han Min peeked: “What book are you reading?”
Chu Yu showed the cover: “The Emperor and the Third-Rank Scholar.”
Han Min settled down. “Don’t you dislike this?”
Chu Yu: “The previous four volumes on the censor were good; this one… is okay.”
Chu Yu raised an eyebrow smugly: “Wen Bianzhang has also been reading those four volumes of ‘The Imperial Censor’ recently. I borrowed them from him.”
Thinking of Wen Yan, Han Min choked: “He… reads it too?”
“Yes, but he’s not just reading for fun; he’s trying to catch this person.”
Chu Yu tapped the four small characters “Pine Smoke Ink Guest” on the cover of the storybook.
Han Min asked cautiously, “Is he angry?”
Chu Yu: “A little. He flipped two pages, face turning green.”
“This…” Han Min paused, then composed himself, “Does he have anyone he suspects?”
Chu Yu: “Yes, we analyzed it. Pine Smoke Ink Guest is talented, understands the court and palace, knows the emperor, the censor, and the scholar. He must know us, maybe spoken to or seen us. He writes one volume a month; it’s not simple, probably stays home writing.”
Han Min marveled: “Your analysis makes sense.”
Chu Yu added: “Actually, it was all analyzed by Wen Bianzhang. He is still looking at it, trying to find some clues from the writing habits of Pine Smoke Ink Guest.”
Han Min unconsciously gripped the corner of the blanket tightly: “I think he should be investigating cases, not becoming an imperial censor.”
Chu Yu patted his hand: “I’ll sleep first; I have duty this afternoon.”
Han Min picked up the book left on the couch, tried reading, but couldn’t discern any habits to find clues from.
He set the book aside, pulled the quilt over himself, and lay down nervously, back to Chu Yu. Chu Yu, still awake, secretly glanced at him.
—
After napping in Wenying Hall, Han Min woke to see Chu Yu dressing.
“Did I wake you?”
“No.”
“I’m on duty; leave the bedding here. I’ll tidy it up tonight.”
Han Min mumbled, half-asleep, and Chu Yu left with his hat.
Han Min sat dazed on the couch: “System, I dreamed Chu Yu pinned me down and beat me.”
The system laughed: “What about Wen Yan?”
Han Min rubbed his eyes: “Wen Yan cried, and hit me while crying.”
The system laughed even harder: “So, are you still going to write?”
“I signed a contract with Baishi Bookstore, and I still have five books to write.”
The system’s laughter pierced the sky.
“Stop laughing!”
The system temporarily silenced itself and asked: “What will you do now?”
“Keep it a secret for now. Once I finish writing the last five books, I’ll retire from this business.”
The system revealed: “After you fell asleep, Chu Yu looked back at you. He might suspect you, testing your reaction.”
Although soft-tempered, Chu Yu wasn’t naive. Han Min shivered, recalling the dream.
The system analyzed: “You can’t lie. At dinner, you slipped, calling yourself ‘little rascal.’ They likely concluded you were suspicious.”
“Alright, I’ll be careful next time.”
He folded the bedding, got dressed, and left the palace.
—
Han Min walked back to the Liu residence alone.
Jiang Huan interrogated Fu Quan last night and is still catching up on sleep in his room.
Liu Ting was not there, and he had probably specifically instructed the servants to be quiet, so the whole courtyard was very quiet.
Han Min also tiptoed back to his room, rested for a while, took out paper and pen, and began to write the sixth volume of the story.
At this moment, in the courtyard of the Liu family patriarch, Master Liu An and Madam Liu sat on either side of the couch, while Liu Ting sat on a round stool to one side.
Liu An looked at the lady and asked, “Now you don’t mind that he comes from a family of convicted criminals?”
Madam Liu picked up her teacup: “Their family was originally an innocent victim. What I said last time was just…” She put down her teacup again: “…worried about our family.”
Liu An continued, “Last time you said that all the people in the Han family only care about the country and the emperor, and that you would never marry Yu’er into the Han family.”
Madam Liu smiled apologetically, “That was just a moment of confusion on my part, a woman’s opinion. Please forgive me. He is still young and already holds a position in the court. He has been on duty in the palace for the past two weeks, so he must have gained the Emperor’s favor.”
Sitting to the side, Liu Ting didn’t say anything. He peeled a few peanuts, put them on a plate, and presented them to his mother.
Madam Liu glanced at him and told him to put the things down: “Thank you, son.”
She continued, “It was just a casual question; I didn’t force him. It would be best if we could become even closer, but if not, a casual question in private wouldn’t hurt the harmony between our two families. If Madam Yuan weren’t currently in Yong’an, with her fiery temper, how would I dare to bypass her and go directly to ask Min’er?”
Madam Yuan is Han Min’s mother, so the two ladies naturally recognize her.
Before long, the old woman serving outside came and said, “Madam, the white fungus porridge is ready.”
Madam Liu gave the order: “Bring up two bowls.”
She nudged Liu Ting’s hand again: “Son, please go and call Min’er over for some porridge.”
Liu Ting responded and bowed before leaving.
Seeing that he had left, Madam Liu propped her head up, picked up a peanut, and said with a smile, “What you said last time was really right. If Ting’er were a girl, he would definitely not have to worry about getting married.”
She stood up, supporting herself on her legs, and sighed, “Why did I have to marry Yu’er of all people?”
A white rolled-up screen concealed Liu Yu, who sat on an embroidered stool behind it, her eyes slightly red.
Madam Liu walked behind the screen, sat down in front of her, and took her hand: “Mother will ask for you later, don’t cry, okay?”
Liu Yu dabbed at the corner of her eye with a handkerchief: “Thank you, Mother.”
After thinking for a moment, Madam Liu decided to speak up first: “If he is unwilling, don’t be sad.”
In fact, she figured that Han Min was most likely unwilling.
But Liu Yu did not answer.
Madam Liu added, “I won’t force you anymore.”
At this moment, Liu An also walked behind the screen. He held his folding fan and said with a smile, “So that’s why I suddenly wanted to ask about Min’er again.
The fifteen-year-old girl, Liu Yu, blushed immediately and hid in her mother’s arms.
Madam Liu stroked her hair and said, “It’s my fault, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought the booklet this morning and insisted that she make a selection.”
Liu Yu is fifteen years old this year. After three years of national mourning, she will be eighteen. Getting married at eighteen is considered late in Qi, so Madam Liu is particularly anxious.
This morning, she was forced to tell Liu Yu which one she liked, and she got annoyed and stood up abruptly. But then she remembered the day she went to Jianguo Temple to draw lots and met Han Min in front of the mansion.
So she blurted out, “I like someone like Brother Han.”
Then there was a deathly silence. After a long silence, Madam Liu said, “Alright, I’ll swallow my pride and ask for you.”
That’s how this happened this afternoon.
Liu An smiled and shook his head. Before he could speak, there was a knock on the door.
Liu Ting said, “Father, Mother, Min-Min is here.”
Madam Liu pushed her daughter away and said sternly, “I’ll only ask for you this once. You stay here in the back and are not allowed to come out. You are not allowed to cry even if it doesn’t work out.”
Liu Yu nodded and sat up straight. She didn’t seem to particularly like Han Min; she just said that casually because she was annoyed by the questions.
Now that her mother is going to ask for her, she feels a little hopeful.
After all, Han Min is indeed a good person, much better than the young noblemen of Yong’an City.
Outside the screen, Han Min assumed it was just like usual, with Madam Liu having prepared some snacks for him and Liu Ting to eat.
The two sat together drinking sweet porridge, and for a moment the only sound was the clinking of bowls and spoons.
Madam Liu took a sip of tea, put down the cup, and softened her tone: “Min’er?”
At that time, Han Min hadn’t even started eating yet. He was about to put the red dates he didn’t like into his senior brother’s bowl when he heard his senior brother’s mother calling him. He thought it was Madam Liu who had seen him, so he quickly withdrew his hand.
Madam Liu was taken aback. Was she a tiger?
She smiled and chatted with Han Min for a few moments, talking about Liu Yun, who married Han Min’s uncle, and also about Han Pei.
Han Min replied earnestly, “The old house is already under renovation, and perhaps we can bring the whole family back before June.”
“That’s good. You’ve worked hard, at such a young age.”
After going around in circles, Madam Liu finally probed, “I remember, you and Yu’er grew up together?”
Han Min paused, then understood.
His uncle Han Zhongqi and Madam Liu’s eldest daughter Liu Yun also grew up together.
Han Min pondered for a moment and replied, “I am of dull and slow mind. I am grateful for the teacher’s guidance. I couldn’t finish memorizing the articles at the academy, so the teacher called me back to the manor to memorize them. It’s not something to be proud of, and I feel a little sad about it.”
He didn’t mention Liu Yu at all, only saying that he had come to the mansion to deliver a letter.
That’s enough.
Madam Liu didn’t ask any further questions, but simply said, “You can have some porridge. Would you like another bowl? If you don’t like the red dates, pick them out and put them on a plate.”
After saying that, he told the maid to bring him a small plate.
Han Min thanked him and diligently drank his porridge.
Liu Ting glanced at him and sighed inwardly.
After the two of them left together, Madam Liu got off the bed and went to look behind the screen.
Liu Yu sat with her back to her, head bowed, wiping away tears with a handkerchief.
Madam Liu hugged her daughter: “This can’t be forced. I won’t pressure you anymore.”
Behind the screen, Liu An asked, “Yu’er, do you truly like him, or are you just pretending?”
Madam Liu said irritably, “What’s the point of liking someone if you don’t like them? We’re just talking, you can leave.”
Liu An then asked, “Yu’er, have you developed feelings for Min’er at first sight?”
There was a sudden moment of silence.
Madam Liu’s eyebrows shot up: “Whose father are you? How dare you talk like that? Get out, get out!”
As he walked out, he said, “That’s right. Min’er is good-looking. You’ve only seen him a few times since you were born. How could you like him? You’re just lusting after him, aren’t you? What kind of liking is that? Stop crying. In a few days, I’ll take you to Jianguo Temple and have the abbot teach you the principle of ‘form is emptiness, emptiness is form.’ Then you won’t be sad anymore. Stop crying.”
Liu Yu stopped crying immediately, realizing that it was because Han Min was handsome.
Who doesn’t like a handsome young man?
She stood up, and Madam Liu hurriedly asked, “Where are you going?”
She wiped away her tears as she said, “I made an appointment with the Zheng family’s daughter to play on the swings.”
She cried so much her makeup was ruined, but she still wanted to play.
“You’re not sad anymore?”
Madam Liu was completely bewildered, then called out to her daughter’s retreating figure, “It’s almost summer, and you’re still playing on the swings? Aren’t you hot?”
—
Han Min and Liu Ting walked side by side in front of the corridor.
Han Min glanced at his senior brother with some unease, but Liu Ting smiled and patted his head: “It’s alright, Mother was just asking casually.”
He nodded, seemingly lost in thought, and said, “How about I move out? Anyway, our old house is almost finished being repaired.”
“Wouldn’t that make others think too much?”
“What’s the big deal? Don’t worry.” Liu Ting thought for a moment, “By the way, weren’t you originally planning to wait until autumn to bring your family over? Why did you change your mind?”
“His Majesty said he could lend me two boats.”
“So you’re going to pick him up in person?”
“Of course, I wouldn’t feel comfortable if I didn’t go myself.”
“You’ve only just taken office, and you’re going away for more than half a month. Won’t His Majesty mind? Won’t your colleagues gossip?”
“Probably not.”
Even as he said this, Han Min hesitated.
Liu Ting said, “Why don’t I go in your place? The academy will be on holiday soon.”
Han Min thought for a while, but didn’t agree immediately. He just said he would think about it some more.
Back in his room, Han Min washed his hands and continued writing the story he had just finished.
The system popped up at the right moment and said, “Min-Min, don’t you think it’s time for you to… after your coming-of-age ceremony?”
Han Min was very upright and didn’t even look up: “We’ll see, I’m not in the mood for that.”
“Really not?”
“No, at least not to Sister Liu.” Han Min put down his pen. “Her feelings for me are just a passing fancy. Maybe she likes me, but she likes the image of me she has in her mind. If I agree, after a while she will find that the image of me she has is actually very different from the real me.”
The system exclaimed in surprise, “Oh, Han Min, the relationship expert who has been single for two lifetimes.”
“Be normal. Here, young women don’t have much say in their marriages. As a man, I shouldn’t harm her.”
The system applauded him: “You’re right, you’re a very responsible host.”
Han Min picked up a brush, dipped it in ink, and wrote: “The Liu family are all sensible people, and Uncle Liu must understand this principle as well. Even if I agree, he definitely won’t agree.”
The system then asked mysteriously, “So, do you have someone you like?”
“Why…why are you asking this?”
“Let’s take a closer look at the host’s emotional life. Be bold, you’ll be of marriageable age in June, you can start thinking about adult matters.”
Han Min said half-jokingly, “I love money the most now. I wish I could have more money than I could ever spend. I’m just such a vulgar scholar.”
He calmed himself down and continued writing his storybook.
Just then, the system sent him a “Love Manual”.
Han Min complained, “When you collect documents, you should at least be selective. This kind of stuff is outdated from my past life.”
He ignored the system, glanced down, and saw the words “Your Majesty” written on the paper. Hmph.
Author’s Note:
Who doesn’t like a handsome young man?
Yu’er understood this too late.
Fu Dog, on the other hand, understood this principle from a young age, but unfortunately, he didn’t grasp the correct methodology and only knew how to bully others.
A correct worldview needs to be matched with the correct methodology.
