Bringing Li Xuan home.
Seven years ago, it was a simple yet unattainable dream for Su Xingchuan.
Back then, he was just an ordinary student, only able to take Li Xuan to hotels. And he couldn’t always afford the best ones; sometimes, they had to settle for cheaper places, which always left him feeling like he was mistreating Li Xuan. He often thought about having his own home one day.
A place with his own bed, facing south for optimal sunlight, filled with pure cotton blankets and fluffy down pillows so that his precious one could sleep comfortably.
But it wasn’t until he turned twenty-six that he achieved this goal.
Even then, it wasn’t fully paid for; his parents helped with the down payment, and he covered the monthly mortgage. But it was still his home—a decent start for an ordinary person.
Su Xingchuan had always considered himself pretty accomplished—good-looking, from a harmonious family, a graduate from a reputable university, and in possession of a respectable job. He was young, had a house and a car, and shouldn’t have felt insecure.
—That is, until he encountered Li Xuan.
Whether it was seven years ago or seven years later, he always felt that he could never be good enough for Li Xuan.
Su Xingchuan pointed at a tall building in front of them. “I live on the fifteenth floor, the unit on the right.”
Li Xuan gave a barely audible “Mm.”
Li Xuan thought silently: Why doesn’t he live with his boyfriend? Is it because they’re not a long-term couple? Su Xingchuan doesn’t seem like the type for casual flings. And that guy didn’t look great, even gave off a straight-guy vibe. Is that the type he likes now? And what about me? What should I do?
As he was lost in thought, someone grabbed his wrist.
Su Xingchuan, holding his wrist through his coat sleeve, pulled him aside. “This way, up the steps.”
Li Xuan’s wrist stiffened, but Su Xingchuan had already let go.
When they reached the door of Su Xingchuan’s apartment, he paused before entering the code, glancing at Li Xuan.
Li Xuan didn’t understand why.
Su Xingchuan lowered his head and entered the six-digit code. Li Xuan didn’t pay attention at first, but as the door opened, a sense of familiarity struck him. Why does this sequence feel so familiar?
He couldn’t figure it out at the moment.
And he didn’t have the mind to think about it.
Because he noticed two pairs of slippers by the shoe rack—two pairs of men’s slippers.
Two pairs of men’s slippers.
Seeing Li Xuan standing in the doorway, staring at the gray slippers, Su Xingchuan felt a hint of dread but tried to remain composed.
Those slippers belonged to Xie Liang.
Last month, Xie Liang had to temporarily stay at Su Xingchuan’s place for five days due to a plumbing issue at his own apartment. He had worn the guest slippers for several consecutive days. He had just moved out when Su Xingchuan’s health problems started, and in the days spent running back and forth to the hospital, he hadn’t had the time to tidy up, leaving the slippers where they were.
Now, those gray slippers lay quietly beside the shoe rack, identical in style to the dark blue pair that Su Xingchuan was wearing.
“A friend stayed here for a few days,” Su Xingchuan couldn’t help but explain. “Just a friend—those are guest slippers.”
Li Xuan clearly didn’t believe him.
He refused to wear those slippers.
He didn’t say it, but Su Xingchuan could tell.
Li Xuan never liked using things others had used; he knew his habits. Li Xuan was particular in this way.
So, Su Xingchuan pulled out a pair of unused disposable hotel slippers from the shoe cabinet and handed them to Li Xuan, who finally put them on.
As Su Xingchuan closed the door and turned on the living room light, Li Xuan glanced back at the gray slippers, then walked over and stomped on them before kicking them aside.
Unaware of his small gesture, Su Xingchuan continued, “I finished the renovation in March this year.”
Li Xuan walked into the living room.
The apartment, around 120 square meters, had a simple, modern style. It was tidy and clean. Although Su Xingchuan wasn’t a neat freak, he was always hands-on. When they were dating, Li Xuan would make a mess, and Su Xingchuan would clean up.
Li Xuan discreetly scanned the space. Aside from the slippers at the entrance, there didn’t seem to be any signs of cohabitation.
It doesn’t seem like a long-term partner, he thought.
Relieved.
But also, disappointed.
Su Xingchuan poured a glass of water and placed it on the coffee table. “Doc, because of what you said, I haven’t dared drink much water these past few days.”
Li Xuan thought back and remembered telling him to hold it in.
“…”
Su Xingchuan poured another glass for himself, holding it to his lips with a smile. “Can I drink now?”
Li Xuan turned away, avoiding his gaze, and mumbled, “Drink plenty of water. Pears and bananas are good too.”
“Sure. It hasn’t been as painful as before these past few days. Thanks to you, Dr. Li, for your skill and professionalism, despite our history.”
Sitting in a single chair, Su Xingchuan spoke politely as if they were nothing more than a patient and doctor. Li Xuan felt his throat dry up. He reached for the glass and took a large gulp.
“I heard you did your master’s abroad—at the University of Pennsylvania, right?”
Li Xuan didn’t respond.
“I didn’t know much after that. You didn’t keep in touch with your old roommates, so they didn’t know your situation either.” Su Xingchuan started talking endlessly. “By the way, I’m still in touch with a few of your old roommates. Li Chongyuan went back home to Chongqing, and Ye Fei is pursuing a PhD at Beijing Medical University. And—”
“Why are you still in contact with them?” Li Xuan cut him off.
He could stay in touch with his roommates but never reached out to him.
Su Xingchuan shrugged. “No reason to cut ties. It’s good to have friends; it opens doors.”
When they were dating, Su Xingchuan learned that Li Xuan had a hard time getting along with his roommates. With his eccentric personality and poor self-care skills, he struggled to fit into communal living. He even applied to his counselor for permission to live off-campus.
It was only after Su Xingchuan convinced him otherwise that things settled. He would bring tea and snacks to Li Xuan’s dorm, mingling with his roommates and winning them over. Su Xingchuan had a friendly nature and easily became acquainted with others. He even told them when Li Xuan wasn’t around, “He’s just a kid. I’ll take care of him, but I’d appreciate your patience.”
Though Li Xuan’s roommates never became his friends, their relationship improved significantly over the last two years of college.
All thanks to Su Xingchuan.
He was friendly with everyone; he could chat with anyone, even a street vendor selling roasted sweet potatoes.
Li Xuan liked Su Xingchuan but didn’t like his friends.
He wanted Su Xingchuan’s attention all to himself.
Back then and even now.
“Do you really need that many friends?” Li Xuan muttered.
“No, but without a jealous boyfriend around, of course, I’ve made more.”
This hit a nerve. Li Xuan’s face darkened, and he abruptly stood up, heading for the door without a word.
Su Xingchuan didn’t move.
Li Xuan’s mind replayed his words, jealous boyfriend. It triggered memories from seven years ago, making it hard for him to breathe.
As he reached the entrance, Su Xingchuan grabbed him, pulling him back.
In a quick move, he pinned Li Xuan against the wall. “Am I wrong? Someone used to give me rules—don’t talk to the basketball team, don’t go out with childhood friends, don’t pair up with girls for projects. Am I lying? What are you mad about?”
Li Xuan’s eyes quickly reddened.
Has Xu Zhengdong ever seen him like this? Su Xingchuan wondered, like a sad little ragdoll.
“I think I did my best,” Su Xingchuan said, grabbing Li Xuan’s hand and pressing it to his chest. “Tell me honestly, did I treat you badly? I accepted all your quirks and tantrums. From the moment I understood my feelings, I did everything a boyfriend should. I can say I honored our relationship, but what did I get in return? A breakup without a word of explanation?”
Tears welled up in Li Xuan’s eyes.
“Why are you crying?” Su Xingchuan held his face, demanding, “What do you have to cry about? I don’t get it. You broke up with me—what right do you have to be sad?”
“You’re in a relationship too!” Li Xuan shouted back.
Su Xingchuan was stunned.
“You didn’t look for me after we broke up, and now you’ve moved on. What gives you the right to question me?”
It was irrational logic.
Was the person dumped supposed to beg for reconciliation and remain single for life just to have the right to ask?
“I’m trying to settle old scores!” Su Xingchuan retorted.
Li Xuan felt the pressure on his shoulders as Su Xingchuan gripped him, his neck aching.
He struggled to escape, but Su Xingchuan knew him too well, predicting his every move and easily pinning him back against the wall.
“I don’t want to argue—I want to go home!” Li Xuan shouted.
He pushed hard against Su Xingchuan, but Su Xingchuan’s hold was iron-tight. The more Li Xuan fought, the tighter Su Xingchuan pressed. When Li Xuan tried to lift his leg, he remembered Su Xingchuan’s recent surgery and held back.
Then he heard Li Xuan’s soft sobs.
Li Xuan was crying?
That was something Su Xingchuan couldn’t bear.
All he wanted was to know why they had broken up and whether Li Xuan still remembered the future they had planned…
Just as he was about to relent, Li Xuan’s phone rang.
It was Xu Zhengdong.
Li Xuan hesitated before answering.
“Hey, Xiao Xuan, everything okay at the hospital?”
Li Xuan stammered, “No big deal, just an emergency case. I’ll be back later.”
He kept his head down, speaking softly, like he was whispering to Xu Zhengdong. His tone was gentle, polite.
It all suddenly made sense to Su Xingchuan.
Li Xuan had gotten into Xu Zhengdong’s car and spotted him, using the excuse of an “emergency at the hospital” to get off.
Xu Zhengdong still thought Li Xuan was at the hospital.
It was absurd.
What was he?
What was this seven-year wait for?
Something snapped—maybe it was the leftover alcohol, maybe the anger. He grabbed Li Xuan’s wrist, and before Li Xuan could react, Su Xingchuan held his face and kissed him hard.
The kiss was intense and overwhelming, and Su Xingchuan’s restraint crumbled.
He kissed Li Xuan deeply, his arms slipping down to encircle his waist, pulling him close.
Li Xuan’s body was always soft, like he had no bones. A few rough tugs and he collapsed against Su Xingchuan’s chest, forced to tilt his head up and take it. One hand pushed weakly at Su Xingchuan’s shoulder, but it was no use.
The call was still connected.
Su Xingchuan heard Xu Zhengdong’s voice from the phone. “Xiao Xuan, Xiao Xuan, why aren’t you speaking?”
The sound of Xu Zhengdong’s voice momentarily pulled Li Xuan back to reality.
Only for Su Xingchuan to drag him back into the whirlpool with another deep kiss.
The call abruptly ended.
The apartment was silent, amplifying the sounds of their kiss. Su Xingchuan felt Li Xuan stop struggling.
He knew he was truly drunk.
He felt both shame and exhilaration.
