Poor Dr. Li was bullied by his shameless patient for a long time, leaving his lips swollen. He pressed both hands against Su Xingchuan’s shoulders, pouting angrily, “Are you crazy?”
Su Xingchuan gave his butt a playful squeeze. “Still want to talk nonsense?”
Li Xuan was furious. “I was telling the truth! You’re so petty!”
Su Xingchuan raised an eyebrow. “I’m petty?”
Sensing danger, Li Xuan sniffled and admitted defeat. “I won’t say it anymore.”
Su Xingchuan chuckled and gently wiped the corner of his lips with his thumb. After a moment, he apologized, “Yes, I was being petty. How could I doubt Dr. Li’s medical skills? If Dr. Li says I have to wait a month, I’ll wait a month—no complaints.”
Li Xuan huffed.
Although Su Xingchuan thought his pride as a man was important, it wasn’t as important as his moments of closeness with Li Xuan. He decided not to dwell on it. “I’ll go clean the bathtub. How about a nice bath?”
Reluctantly, Li Xuan forgave him.
While Su Xingchuan was in the bathroom, Li Xuan wandered around the house, inspecting his surroundings as if surveying his new territory.
Last time, he had only taken a quick glance and hadn’t had the chance to really observe the place.
Su Xingchuan had a bit of a cleanliness streak. The furniture was mostly white, making the house look spotless. In the living room, there was a pile of files on the coffee table, some of them left open, showing how busy he was with work. Li Xuan lifted his head and noticed a small ceramic cat on a shelf in the liquor cabinet.
More accurately, it was a broken and clumsily repaired ceramic cat.
He picked it up.
The repairs were crude and far from beautiful.
One of the ears was even missing a corner.
When Su Xingchuan came out and saw Li Xuan holding the cat, he immediately went over and hugged him from behind, confessing, “After I misunderstood you and your uncle that day, I got angry and smashed the cat. But the next day, I felt bad, so I bought some glue and painstakingly fixed it. I hoped the little cat wouldn’t stay mad.”
Li Xuan gently ran his fingers over the cracks in the ceramic.
“The little cat says, fine, you’re forgiven.”
Forgiven for the biased mother, for his own past cowardice, and for the seven years of stubbornness that made them both suffer…
As he traced the cracks with his fingers, Su Xingchuan laughed softly. “Stop touching it. You might cut yourself.”
Li Xuan asked, “Didn’t your mom call you?”
“I thought she would, but for some reason, I haven’t heard from her at all today.”
Li Xuan felt a bit worried.
Su Xingchuan kissed him on the ear to reassure him. “It’s late now. I’ll call them tomorrow morning. Don’t worry.”
Carefully, Li Xuan put the little cat back in its place.
He headed to the bathroom and started undressing. Su Xingchuan brought over his pajamas and found Li Xuan standing by the tub with two smooth, long legs exposed. He seemed unsure where to put his clothes, so Su Xingchuan immediately stepped forward to help.
While Su Xingchuan was fully dressed, Li Xuan was now completely naked. At first, Li Xuan felt shy, but soon he relaxed, remembering that they had seen each other like this seven years ago. He slid into the tub with a contented sigh.
The water washed away all the anxiety, frustration, and unease he had been feeling since their reunion. Li Xuan turned his head to see Su Xingchuan carrying over a small wooden stool from the living room and sitting next to him.
“Is the temperature okay?” Su Xingchuan asked.
Li Xuan gazed at him.
Somehow, they ended up kissing again.
As if they couldn’t kiss enough.
Su Xingchuan said, “Back then, when I didn’t have enough money for better places, I took you to those 300-yuan-per-night hotels. I felt like I was really letting you down.”
Li Xuan shook his head, not understanding why Su Xingchuan had such heavy thoughts. Leaning against Su Xingchuan’s shoulder, he said, “But I was so happy back then. Every day felt so happy.”
And it was true.
Seven years ago, when Su Xingchuan first brought Li Xuan to a hotel, they were both inexperienced. It took Su Xingchuan a long time just to check in. When they got into the elevator, Li Xuan suddenly jumped into his arms, looking up at him with eager eyes.
Su Xingchuan had laughed, “What’s wrong?”
Li Xuan stood on tiptoes and kissed him.
Time seemed to freeze for a second.
Su Xingchuan’s throat bobbed, and he muttered, “You really—”
You’re really going to be the death of me.
Once they were in the room, Su Xingchuan pulled out the cleaning supplies he had prepared in advance, trying to act calm even though his heart was racing. He stammered, “Y-you should use this.”
But Li Xuan said, “I don’t know how.”
Su Xingchuan was stunned. “Huh?”
Given how forward Li Xuan had been, Su Xingchuan had assumed he knew a lot about what went on between two men. But it turned out Li Xuan didn’t know anything. Just as Su Xingchuan was feeling awkward, Li Xuan, with a serious expression, pulled out his phone. “I don’t know how. Let me look it up online.”
Five minutes later, the two of them sat side by side on the bed, watching an instructional video.
As the atmosphere changed, Li Xuan noticed how intently Su Xingchuan was watching the screen, and his jealousy flared up. He tossed the phone aside and pounced on Su Xingchuan.
“What now, little troublemaker?” Su Xingchuan asked, supporting Li Xuan’s waist.
“You can’t get interested in this kind of video!”
“But I’ve already turned gay for you—”
Li Xuan bit him. “You can only be interested in me! If turning gay makes you interested in every guy, then I’m not special at all!”
Li Xuan could be so domineering and unreasonable that Su Xingchuan often didn’t know how to respond. But Li Xuan would soon realize he had been too harsh, and he’d switch to acting cute, snuggling up to Su Xingchuan and tracing his fingers along his neck.
Rationality told Su Xingchuan not to spoil Li Xuan’s childishness, but his rationality never stood a chance against Li Xuan.
In the end, he always gave in first.
Hugging Li Xuan, he said softly, “I don’t like boys, and I don’t like girls. I only like you. Is that good enough?”
Finally, Li Xuan was satisfied.
They got everything ready, took a bath together, and when they finally lay in bed, Li Xuan was already starting to doze off, yawning one after another. But this time, Su Xingchuan didn’t let him sleep.
Li Xuan was usually delicate, but in bed, he wasn’t too bad.
Except that he couldn’t stop crying.
After Su Xingchuan was satisfied, he had to spend a long time comforting him.
“What are you thinking about, Su Xingchuan?”
Li Xuan’s voice interrupted Su Xingchuan’s memories. He turned his head and saw Li Xuan scooping a handful of water and splashing it toward him, accusingly. “How dare you zone out?”
Snapping out of it, Su Xingchuan said, “I was thinking about the old days.”
Li Xuan paused, then suddenly glared at him. “Am I not attractive now?”
Su Xingchuan chuckled. “Why so much jealousy, baby?”
Li Xuan turned his face away.
Su Xingchuan asked, “How about I wash your hair?”
Li Xuan lazily looked over, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. His skin was naturally pale, but now, with the steam from the bath, he looked even fairer, his forehead damp with wet hair clinging softly to his skin. His dark eyes gleamed like wet grapes.
Leaning his head back to look at Su Xingchuan from an upside-down angle, he blinked and his lips curved slightly.
Not sure if Li Xuan was acting cute on purpose or not, Su Xingchuan squeezed shampoo into his palm, lathered it up, and gently massaged it into Li Xuan’s hair. Li Xuan gave him directions, “Scratch a little on the left, a little on the right.”
Closing his eyes, he relaxed completely.
After their breakup, when Su Xingchuan was drowning in the pain of heartbreak, nothing around him interested him anymore.
Yu Qinglan had dragged him out to dinner with friends to cheer him up. They had surrounded Su Xingchuan, analyzing one flaw after another in Li Xuan as a boyfriend.
“What did you even get out of that relationship? From what we saw, it was all you giving and giving, like you were his servant, carrying his school bag. Come on! He’s the same age as us, not a little kid!”
But in Su Xingchuan’s eyes, Li Xuan *was* a little kid.
Taking care of Li Xuan was something he did willingly.
Love is like drinking water; only the one who drinks it knows whether it’s cold or
warm.
Maybe that’s just how love works.
He had always thought his relationship with his parents was great—he was filial, they were loving, and there was no intrusion into each other’s lives. They were the model family. But meeting Li Xuan made him realize he wanted someone who loved him by becoming a part of his entire life—someone closer, more dependent, someone who truly understood him.
Only now did he realize he didn’t fully understand his parents either.
He bent down and kissed Li Xuan’s forehead. Li Xuan opened his eyes and pretended to be upset. “What are you doing?”
Su Xingchuan grinned. “Just bothering Dr. Li a bit.”
“Dr. Li will put your stone back in.”
Su Xingchuan burst out laughing.
“How cruel, Dr. Li.”
Li Xuan scooped another handful of water and splashed it on him.
.
After finishing the bath, Li Xuan waited in the bedroom while Su Xingchuan came in, still damp.
Li Xuan was lying on the bed, reading a book he found on the nightstand.
Su Xingchuan buried his face in Li Xuan’s neck, rubbing against him, making Li Xuan laugh and put the book down.
Dressed in Xingchuan’s pajamas, which were too long in both the sleeves and pant legs, Li Xuan felt the gentle caresses as Su Xingchuan’s hand slid inside to touch his wrist. But soon, things escalated, and another hand moved downward. Li Xuan reminded, “Nope, we have to wait until next month.”
“So, I won’t get to have you this year.”
It sounded exaggerated, as there were only three or four days left until the New Year.
If he couldn’t have him, he would just have to nibble a little.
To vent his frustration.
It was late, so after using a warm towel to wipe down Li Xuan, Su Xingchuan pulled him close again. Li Xuan suddenly asked, “Can you put me to sleep like you used to?”
“Like before?”
“Like how you used to comfort me afterward.”
Narrowing his eyes, Xingchuan frowned, thinking for a while before lowering his voice to ask, “Are you insulting me?”
“No, I’m not.”
Rolling his eyes, Li Xuan added, “You’re really so petty.”
Just waiting half a month; Li Xuan didn’t understand why Su Xingchuan cared so much, just like how he insisted on getting a big house back then instead of letting Li Xuan sleep in a cheap hotel.
He watched Su Xingchuan for a few seconds.
And then he understood—it was all because of love.
“You fool.” He snuggled into Su Xingchuan’s arms.
Switching off the light, Su Xingchuan wrapped his arm around Li Xuan, and the two huddled close. The night deepened, the stars and moon dimmed, and the sounds of the distant road faded away, leaving only the wind’s howls. The winter wind was especially thick and heavy.
To stay warm, Li Xuan rested his hand on Xingchuan’s abs.
“Baby.”
Su Xingchuan’s voice broke the silence, making Li Xuan pause and blush.
He had never told Xingchuan that it wasn’t the act of intimacy that he looked forward to the most—it was the moments afterward.
When the rush was over, and the endorphins faded, and Xingchuan would take care of him, wiping him down and running a bath. The sudden chill afterward made Li Xuan feel uneasy. But luckily, Xingchuan would return quickly to pull him back into a warm embrace.
That’s when Li Xuan truly felt what it meant to love and be loved.
Even after seven years, what he longed for most was Xingchuan’s soft call of “baby.”
At twenty-seven, maybe he was too old for that nickname.
People around him, colleagues his age, already had children and had moved on to the next stage of life, but Li Xuan’s heart had always stayed at twenty, waiting for Xingchuan to come back for him.
Xingchuan held him tight, squeezing his shoulder and rubbing his arm before hugging him close.
“A few years ago, I read online that if you dream of someone three times, it means your fate with them is over. I got so scared.”
“I dreamed of you more than three times.”
Li Xuan stared at the buttons on his shirt.
“I was so scared I didn’t dare sleep.”
“And then?”
“And then I dreamed of you again. In my dream, you told me, ‘Su Xingchuan, we’re different from others. The more you dream of me, the sooner we’ll meet again.’”
Li Xuan buried his face into Xingchuan’s shoulder.
“How could you still boss me around after we broke up?”
Stroking his back, Xingchuan responded.
“Because you love me.”
Xingchuan smiled softly, “Yes, because I love you.”
His voice was soft and gentle, and Li Xuan soon felt drowsy. Xingchuan mimicked his tone, “I love you so much.”
Li Xuan, nestled in Xingchuan’s arms, drifted off to sleep.
The next morning.
Since it was the weekend, Li Xuan slept in until mid-morning.
When Xingchuan finished making breakfast, he coaxed him twice before Li Xuan, still half-asleep, sat up reluctantly. His cheeks were rosy, hair tousled, eyes still hazy as he looked around. Su Xingchuan sat beside him.
“Did you forget everything?”
Li Xuan tilted his head, looking puzzled.
Su Xingchuan laughed, “Good morning, baby.”
Slowly, the light returned to Li Xuan’s eyes. He crawled over and gave him a kiss.
Satisfied, Xingchuan handed him his clothes. “Your clothes and underwear are washed and dried, ready to wear.”
Li Xuan lazily extended his arms.
Clearly, he wanted Xingchuan to help him dress.
Of course, Xingchuan obliged, though he couldn’t resist a little grumbling. “What about when I’m old? Who’s going to dress you?”
Li Xuan pouted and teased, “Then I’ll find a handsome young guy to take care of me.”
Raising an eyebrow, Xingchuan remained silent.
He helped Li Xuan into his pants.
Watching Xingchuan’s expression, Li Xuan grew nervous. Was Xingchuan… upset?
He had teased Xingchuan like this before, and Xingchuan would only kiss him as punishment. But this time, he seemed genuinely upset.
Could it be… because he wasn’t feeling confident lately?
It had to be. Xingchuan wasn’t twenty anymore; maybe he felt sensitive about these things now.
Wanting to say something, Li Xuan hesitated. He didn’t have much experience comforting Su Xingchuan. He hooked his finger around Xingchuan’s, and Xingchuan held it, but he still didn’t speak.
Li Xuan started to panic.
