Chapter 12
Su Xingchuan mustered all his strength and carried Li Xuan home.
From the entrance to the bedroom, he walked with some difficulty, staggering slightly and nearly falling on top of Li Xuan.
Li Xuan smelled of alcohol, but it wasn’t unpleasant.
As Su Xingchuan’s nose brushed against Li Xuan’s forehead, being so close, he couldn’t help but swallow. Despite his desire to take advantage of the situation—to just collapse onto Li Xuan and hold him as they slept, fulfilling a long-held wish—he knew he needed to sober Li Xuan up first.
The bartender had mentioned that Li Xuan had been drinking alone all night, consuming four or five glasses of strong liquor before passing out.
Li Xuan had always been a “good boy” when it came to alcohol, not even liking liquor-filled chocolates.
It was clear how hard he had pushed himself tonight.
Su Xingchuan had always prioritized Li Xuan’s health. So, even with Li Xuan’s flushed lips so close to him, he mustered his willpower. After pausing for a few seconds, he placed his hands on either side of Li Xuan’s shoulders and pulled himself up.
First, he took off Li Xuan’s coat.
Li Xuan was limp but cooperative.
Next, Su Xingchuan took out a set of his own pajamas from the wardrobe and helped Li Xuan change.
As he pulled off Li Xuan’s pants, he noticed a scar on his right knee. He paused, remembering how Li Xuan had gotten it years ago when they had gone hiking, and Li Xuan had tripped. The wound was still scabbing over when they broke up.
He hadn’t expected the scar to still be visible—a faint brown mark, like a tattoo, a reminder of their time together.
He brushed his thumb over it, and Li Xuan began to whine softly.
Perhaps his exposed legs felt cold.
Not wanting to linger too long, Su Xingchuan gently held Li Xuan’s calf, patiently helping him into pajama pants before tucking him under the blanket, wrapping him snugly.
Worried he might still be cold, Su Xingchuan raised the temperature of the heater.
Feeling the warmth, Li Xuan turned over, hugging the blanket.
He still slept that way.
After making sure Li Xuan was comfortable, Su Xingchuan went to the kitchen.
He pulled some celery and tomatoes from the fridge and made a strong vegetable juice to help sober him up.
Since starting work, Su Xingchuan had attended numerous business gatherings. His easygoing personality made him welcome in many circles, and he often found himself drinking on behalf of his bosses. It wasn’t unusual for him to come home drunk after dealing with clients who could hold their liquor. Once home, he would force himself to make a vegetable juice to ease the acidity in his stomach.
He never imagined he’d get the chance to share this remedy with Li Xuan.
He returned to the bedroom and called out to Li Xuan.
Of course, there was no response. Li Xuan even pulled the blanket over his head, annoyed. Su had no choice but to sit on the edge of the bed, gently pulling Li Xuan out and soothing him with a soft tone, speaking to him as if he were a child. Only then did Li Xuan begrudgingly open his eyes halfway, pressing his hands weakly against Su Xingchuan’s chest, muttering, “You’re so annoying.”
Su Xingchuan took the complaint in stride, skillfully holding the glass to Li Xuan’s lips and gently squeezing his chin.
“Baby, just take a sip,” Su coaxed.
Li Xuan took a sip, and Su Xingchuan immediately encouraged, “Just half the glass—finish it, and you can sleep.”
“So bitter.” Li Xuan pouted.
Su Xingchuan tasted it himself. “I added more tomato than celery; it’s not bitter at all.”
After being forced to drink half the glass, Li Xuan’s temper flared. He buried his face in Su Xingchuan’s neck, his frustration tinged with a hint of a sob. “It’s awful… you’re in big trouble…”
Su Xingchuan laughed. “How am I in trouble?”
In the past, Li Xuan had been spoiled, throwing tantrums without fear of upsetting Su Xingchuan. But when Su Xingchuan turned the tables and teased him, he would get mad, poking Su Xingchuan’s shoulder repeatedly, saying, “You bullied me; you’re in big trouble.”
Drunk, Li Xuan must have thought he had returned to seven years ago. He buried his face in Su Xingchuan’s chest, clutching his shirt. “You’re in big trouble, Su Xingchuan. You won’t have a wife anymore.”
Su Xingchuan’s heart fluttered.
Li Xuan had called his name.
He called him Su Xingchuan.
Did this mean that, deep down, Li Xuan still remembered him, still thought of the good times they had, and hadn’t forgotten their days together?
He placed the glass on the bedside table and pulled Li Xuan into his arms, holding him as if he had recovered a lost treasure. He ran his hand gently down Li Xuan’s back, whispering, “I don’t have a wife anymore. He got lost seven years ago.”
“Got lost.” Li Xuan murmured.
Su Xingchuan leaned down and kissed him. “Yeah, he got lost.”
It wasn’t the first time Li Xuan had called himself his wife.
He had never been particular about labels.
During their few months of dating, he had used all kinds of endearing terms, often mimicking other couples he overheard on the street. Su Xingchuan would be caught off guard, his ears turning red, as he covered Li Xuan’s mouth and laughed helplessly, “Have some dignity.”
Even through Su Xingchuan’s fingers, Li Xuan would continue, “Hubby.”
Blinking innocently.
Su Xingchuan knew Li Xuan was doing it on purpose, yet he couldn’t help but be moved.
Seven years later, nothing had changed. One playful complaint from Li Xuan and Su Xingchuan’s defenses crumbled, his heart defenseless.
“Xiao Xuan, have you ever thought about me over these years?”
Li Xuan didn’t answer. He frowned, irritated that Su Xingchuan’s belt was digging into his waist. He squirmed uncomfortably.
Su Xingchuan loosened his belt, but as he was about to pull it out, Li Xuan’s hand reached over, and Su Xingchuan’s breath caught.
Li Xuan’s hands were beautiful.
The same hands that held scalpels—delicate and well-kept, with long, clean fingers and smooth, pale skin.
They were always cold in winter, and he’d hold them close to warm them up.
“Have you thought of me?” Su Xingchuan asked again.
But Li Xuan was already fast asleep.
Su Xingchuan held his hand, gently rubbing his thumb across the palm, and smiled wryly. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“After graduation, I kept asking about you, but you cut ties with everyone. I asked your roommates and classmates, but they all said they didn’t know.”
“I wanted to know how you were doing, if you were happy, if someone was taking care of you.”
“I was conflicted, hoping you were happy, but also hoping you weren’t—so you’d come back to me.”
“Why did you leave me back then?”
“I was so good to you, you heartless thing.”
Li Xuan grumbled in protest, clutching Su Xingchuan’s shirt to cover his ears.
Su Xingchuan smiled helplessly.
He had no idea why Li Xuan had gone drinking. He felt it had something to do with him but feared he was being too hopeful.
He pulled off his belt, lying down beside Li Xuan, their foreheads touching. He matched his breathing to Li Xuan’s.
Li Xuan slept peacefully.
Su Xingchuan watched him and blew softly on his face. Li Xuan frowned, his long lashes fluttering.
Su Xingchuan pinched his ear, muttering, “Xu Zhengdong isn’t a good person. Back when he was young, he fooled around so much. He could sell you off, and you wouldn’t even know. Only I will always be good to you—do you understand?”
Li Xuan, feeling ticklish, burrowed under the covers.
Su Xingchuan kissed him.
He kissed his lips gently, cherishing the moment.
His breathing heated, his pulse quickened, and his heart pounded uncontrollably. Su Xingchuan wanted nothing more than to pull Li Xuan closer, but he restrained himself, burying his face in Li Xuan’s neck and taking a deep breath.
After washing up, he lay down beside Li Xuan.
He planned to leave quietly during the night, but with Li Xuan in his arms, he quickly drifted off.
He didn’t expect to fall asleep so fast.
He couldn’t remember how many minutes it took before he fell into a deep sleep. By the time he woke up, it was already morning.
It had been the most restful sleep he’d had in years.
He woke up feeling disoriented, fearing that everything from picking up Li Xuan at the bar had been just a dream—a vivid, sensual dream he had longed for. A dream where he woke up alone, and everything vanished.
He held his breath and reached out to touch the bed beside him.
It was empty and cold.
His heart sank, as if he had fallen into an abyss.
He turned his head. Li Xuan wasn’t next to him.
Gone.
Was it really a dream?
The next second, a loud crash came from the bathroom, the sound of a glass bottle shattering.
Su Xingchuan froze for a moment, then rushed in.
Li Xuan was crouched on the floor, picking up glass shards.
Wearing Su Xingchuan’s pajamas, his hair was a mess.
When he saw Su Xingchuan burst in, he jumped, looking startled and wide-eyed.
Su Xingchuan’s breath hadn’t yet steadied, his chest heaving. His tall frame filled the bathroom doorway, and he looked fierce, as if about to scold.
Li Xuan forgot his usual aloofness for a moment, instinctively pouting, his face showing a hint of grievance.
“It wasn’t me; you didn’t tighten the cap…”
Just like before, whenever he made a mistake, he would shift the blame to Su Xingchuan.
Su Xingchuan exhaled in relief.
How to describe how he felt at that moment? The feeling of relief, like landing on a cushion after freefall. Excitement, joy, and a sense of relief rained down on him.
To lose and regain, to reunite after a long absence.
For the first time, he felt truly fortunate.
Li Xuan slowly stood up, placing the broken bottle on the sink and mumbling, “I’ll pay you back.”
When he was at fault, he would speak softly, lacking confidence.
Su Xingchuan leaned against the doorframe, teasing him. “Sure, I remember this bottle costs over a thousand.”
“Over a thousand, then fine, over a thousand.”
As a third-generation heir, Dr. Li didn’t care.
He tried to squeeze past Su Xingchuan to leave the bathroom, but Su Xingchuan blocked his way, his shoulder firm. The bathroom filled with the scent of the spilled lotion. Li Xuan, dressed in Su Xingchuan’s oversized cotton pajamas with sleeves covering his fingers, looked fragile. Su Xingchuan felt a pang in his heart, thinking they shouldn’t be in this situation; they should have been long-time lovers.
“Do you remember what happened last night?” he suddenly asked.
Li Xuan froze.
Su Xingchuan deliberately glanced down at Li Xuan’s collar, his tone mocking. “Dr. Li, you’re just as clingy as before. You wouldn’t stop holding onto me, snuggling into my arms.”
Li Xuan’s face turned pale.
“And you called me hubby.”
Li Xuan’s hands, hidden in his sleeves, clenched into fists as he snapped, “Don’t say that! Shut up!”
“Why did you go to the bar alone last night?”
Li Xuan instinctively avoided Su’s gaze, his face tight. “None of your business. I didn’t ask you to pick me up.”
“So ungrateful, just like before.”
Li Xuan couldn’t stand Su Xingchuan repeatedly bringing up the past. He shoved past him, charging out of the bathroom.
His shirt and pants lay by the bed. Hastily, he buttoned them up messily, grabbed his coat, and was about to leave.
Su Xingchuan called out from behind, “Stay for breakfast.”
Li Xuan stopped in his tracks.
He wanted to stay, but his rational side held him back.
He didn’t respond and put on his shoes, leaving without a word.
Su Xingchuan had expected this and didn’t try to stop him. He stood by the doorway for a long time, until it was time for work, before he finally let go of the brief but beautiful morning.
Back in the bedroom, he looked at the still-warm bed and thought, When will I get to hold Li Xuan and sleep again?
The insomnia that had plagued him for seven years—Li Xuan might be the only cure.
—
Elsewhere.
Li Xuan’s mother pushed open his bedroom door to call him for breakfast, only to find he hadn’t returned overnight. Panicked, she tried calling him, but his phone was off. She called several times, all to no avail.
With Li Xuan’s father away on business, she felt at a loss and immediately contacted Xu Zhengdong, asking him to find Li Xuan. “He’s been so troubled lately. This can’t go on. Someone has to take care of him.”
Xu Zhengdong made some calls before reassuring his sister, “Don’t worry, I have someone in mind—a perfect match for Xiao Xuan in age, looks, temperament, and character. I’ll set up a meeting soon. Please don’t cry; everything will be fine.”
After contacting some friends, Xu Zhengdong traced Li Xuan to a bar on Changting Street.
His friend said, looking grim, “Mr. Xu, the surveillance camera at the entrance shows Xiao Xuan, but—”
Xu Zhengdong’s heart tightened. “But what?”
“Xiao Xuan was carried away by a man.”
Xu Zhengdong slammed the table. “What?”
His friend’s concern mirrored his, and he turned the screen toward Xu Zhengdong, zooming in on the footage. “Take a look here.”
Xu Zhengdong immediately leaned closer.
At 11:49 last night, the door of the Grey Shore Bar swung open, and a waiter walked out, gesturing back inside. A few seconds later, a tall man dressed in black casual clothes emerged, carrying Li Xuan.
Li Xuan appeared obviously drunk, his arms limp.
Xu Zhengdong’s heart leapt into his throat, and he growled, “Who is this person? Zoom in!”
His friend, equally tense, instructed the bar staff to zoom in several times. “Mr. Xu, I’ll call the police.”
Xu Zhengdong spoke in a low voice, “I already did. When I find this guy, I’ll—”
He paused abruptly.
As the image became clearer, the man’s face came into focus. Xu Zhengdong squinted, feeling a sense of familiarity. The next second, the man turned slightly, smiling at the waiter.
Xu Zhengdong froze.
Su Xingchuan? How could it be him?
